Ohh Lacey Mini Series
by briita breakout
Summary: so this is for the sowrongitswrite tumblr :D
1. The shape of my heart with your hands

**Ohh Lacey; Mini Series Chapter 1 :) This is Lacey and John back in highschool guys. This happened before ALL of my fics so don't be confused :) enjoy :D**

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45 days. 45 days until John left me for ASU and didn't know if I'd ever see him again. I dreaded this day. The last day of high school, that is, well John's last day. I was done with sophomore year and happy about it. The fact that John was done with senior year was what scared me.

I sat and watched the ticking clock in last period history and nervously anticipated the bell to ring. I wanted school to be over and I definitely wanted summer but I didn't want the John Oh that was waiting for me outside of the classroom door to not be there next year. But I couldn't delay the clock and neither could John. The bell rang and I felt the lump in my throat start to form. I hopped out of my desk and started for the door. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone fumbling towards me and I hesitated to take my next step. Sadly it was too late, their body crashed into my and I stumbled a few steps before I caught my balance. Flipping my dark cherry main out of my face I looked to see who had impaled me.

His gorgeous hazel eyes gazed up at me as he stuttered an apology and I shook my head assuring him it was nothing. Reaching down to pick up his back pack I noticed his iPod had drifted a few feet away in the fall. I grabbed it and coiled the headphones back up.

"Thanks," he sighed as I handed the nano to the shaking boy. I felt my cheeks redden as our hands brushed and I looked up to study his expression. He cleared his throat and slipped his backpack back on his back.

"Have a good summer, John." I sauntered away and left John standing the middle of the history room. John Ohh was waiting for me in the door way with his phone in hand. He was furiously texting as I approached him but stopped as he realized I was now at his side. Smiling down at me he slipped his phone in his pocket and peered into the classroom.

"What were you and Gomez talking about?" he asked, grabbing my hand.

"You didn't just see what happened?" I replied, "We collided."

Just as John slipped out of the doorway behind us my John pulled me into a passionate kiss. Tingles sent down my body and I grabbed his side. We pulled apart and John's eyes sent daggers down the hallway.

"You know it really takes the meaning of the kiss away if you're just doing it to piss off John," I mumbled as I let go of his side.

"I'm sorry," John chuckled, "I just think it's funny fucking with the kid, he's been like obsessed with you since you were 12."

"Excuse me," I slapped his arm, "don't talk about John like that. We're friends, and he is not obsessed with me! And what do you care anyway, I've been obsessed with you since I was 8."

John smiled wide and caressed my side, "Well I'm obsessed with you too Lacey." He winked and bent down to kiss me. I turned my head to the side last minute and let out a small laugh.

"It's getting a little creepy with all this 'obsessed' talk; can I just say I love you, John?"

John cleared his throat and spun me around to lead me down the hallway. Once again he had avoided "the L word." That was one thing I hated about us. It was like he was afraid to tell me he loved me, I knew he did. Of course he did, we had been in love since I was 8 and he was 10. I knew my John my whole life. I trusted his more than anyone. I just wish he trusted me enough to tell me he loved me.

We stepped outside and the Arizona sun beat down on my skin. John wrapped his arm around my side and we strutted towards the senior lot.

"So what's it feel like?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" he replied, shading his eyes from the sun.

"What's it feel like to be free? Free from this place, free from this town?"

"I don't feel any different than I did yesterday, I guess now I'm officially a college student though."

My throat began to tighten at the mention of college. John knew I didn't want him to go and that was one of the main reasons he had stayed in Arizona. He wanted to go out of state for college but both of us knew that wouldn't have worked.

"I'll never be officially free though," John began, "I'll always have you back here."

"Well I'm sorry I'm tying you down," I mumbled as I marched faster towards the car.

"Lacey! Lacey, that's not what I meant!" John called after me. I heard what he was saying but I kept going. I didn't want to have to deal with it and I defiantly didn't want John to see I was on the verge of tears. As soon as he touched me I wouldn't have any control of them. That's all John needed, a crying sophomore (junior?) stomping through the senior parking lot to his car on his last day of school. I wasn't about to embarrass him.

I reached the car and leaned up against the passenger door. John was a little while back fiddling in his pockets for the keys. His black BMW was so hot my butt was nearly on fire before I realized someone was trying to get my attention.

"Hey Lacey!" Stephen waved his hand in front of my face and I snapped out of my trance.

"Oh hey sorry Stephen," I replied, "I'm just spacing out."

"I can see that," Stephen laughed, "you all right?"

"I'm fine," I assured him, "it's just the last day of school you know."

"I feel ya," Stephen shook his head, "hey uh, have you seen John? I was supposed to give him a ride home, but I can't find him."

"Uh yeah, we had history together last period. Last time I saw him was after class, we kinda bumped into each other."

Stephen smirked and glanced over the parking lot again, "well if you see him tell him to call me, because if he doesn't need a ride then I'm just going straight to Max's for the party."

"Max is having a party?" I asked, John hadn't mentioned a party. Max was one of John's best friends there was no way he wasn't invited.

"Yeah, it's his big end of the year blowout," Stephen began to explain, "it's supposed to be from like right after school until like midnight."

"A ten hour party?" I exclaimed.

"Well yeah," Stephen shrugged, "a lot of us are never going to see each other again."

Before I could reply John finally reached the car and hit unlock on the little remote. Stephen slightly waved and hopped in his car. Starting it up, he rolled down the window and leaned towards me. "Remember, if you see John tell him to call me."

"Got cha," I replied as he slowly drove away.

"Lacey," John sighed, "why'd you take off?"

"I don't know John. Maybe because you basically told me that I was the only think holding you back from being free! It's like I'm your anchor or something, I'm sorry I'm delaying your life John."

"Lacey are you insane?" John exclaimed, "You're an anchor or any of that shit. You're not delaying my life, you are my life."

That was the first time John had ever said anything like that. It stunned me for a second before it finally sunk in.

"What did you say?"

"I said you're my life, Lacey. You're the only thing holding me back from being free because I'm not free unless I'm with you. You're the only thing that matters to me. You always have been."

"Come here," I whispered before I pulled him into a tight hug. Nestling my head into his chest I breathed in his aroma and lightly tapped his chest my right hand.

"I can hear your heart beat," I whispered.

"What it sound like?" John asked.

"Kinda like thump, thump, thump. It's pretty relaxing," I replied. I grabbed his wrists and instructed his to bend his hands into two claws. I pushed his hands together and held up the heart it made. I made the very same heart with my hands and gently wrapped my heart around his. It surrounded his face as I kissed the area between his thumb and his index finger.

"This heart it beats beats for only you." John lightly sang.

"You are not serenading my with my favorite Paramore song," I laughed as I pulled away from his chest.

"Maybe I am," John smiled and I reached up to kiss him.

"You are amazing John O'Callaghan," I whispered, our lips still touching from time to time.

After a few more kisses we finally got in the car and took off towards John's house. He didn't live that far from the school but it felt like the longest drive of my life. Because I knew it was going to be the last time John and I would leave the school together.

We pulled in the driveway and John shifted the car into park. The driveway was empty and it was pretty obvious no one was home. No one was ever home after school.

"So when were you going to tell me about this party?" I asked before I even reached to open the door.

John leaned back in his seat and tossed the keys in his pocket, "so you heard about Max's thing."

"Yeah, I did."

"I didn't think you'd want to go," John replied, "all the guys are going to be there and there's going to be drinking."

"I drink John, and I love the guys, why would you think I didn't want to go?"

"I don't know," John shrugged, "we can go if you want, but I kinda wanted it to be just us tonight."

He sounded so sincere I didn't know if he was being honest or just trying to get himself out of a lie. I chose to believe him and hopped out of the car, but if he made me regret it, I was going to kick his ass.

Walking around to the back door, we slipped through the gate and walked right in the sliding glass doors to the kitchen. They were always unlocked and John always forgot his house keys.

Just as I had expected, the house was deserted and John marched towards the living room. I threw open the fridge and grabbed us two cokes. There was a note on the fridge marked "John," written in his mother's handwriting.

"John!" I called, "your mom left a note!"

He came shuffling to the kitchen and I handed him his coke as he ripped the note of the refrigerator door.

"'John, your father and I went to an art show in Phoenix. Be home by 8. There's money down stairs for pizza.' Score!" John crinkled the note and tossed it in the trash.

"That was pretty nice of your mom," I said before taking a sip of coke.

"What? The money or the fact that she trusts us alone until 8?"

I nearly choked on my coke as I processed what John had said. "John, I…"

"God, keep your panties on, I was kidding."

"Oh right, cause you want me to keep my panties on," I replied, hopping up on the counter.

"Well, feel free to take them off if you insist," John joked as he stood between my legs.

"HA HA very funny," I murmured, wrapping my legs around him.

"So what do you want to do today?" John asked, "I think the panties off idea was a good one, but we still have plenty of time to brainstorm."

"Okay, I have an idea. I'm going to go upstairs and you wait down here. And when I come back downstairs, I won't have a single item of my clothes on. Sound fun?"

"Sounds lovely," John exclaimed backing away from the counter, "please proceed."

"Okay," I replied, "I'll be right back."

"Take your time!" he called after me as I ran up the stairs. I pushed his room door open and I quickly began ripping all my clothes off. Pulling John's dresser drawer open I grabbed a shirt and a snug pair of jeans. I threw them on and slipped on John's converses. Checking in the mirror, I gave a twirl and was surprised I actually looked cute in John's clothes. I could totally pull off the tom-boy look.

Marching back down the stairs I called to him, "ready?"

"Oh hell yes!" I heard him reply, guessing he was in the living room. I passed through the kitchen and found him sitting on the couch facing the TV. I walked up behind him and covered his eyes.

"Are you sure you're ready?" I purred.

"Oh god yes," John replied, wigging in his seat.

I climbed over the edge of the couch and kept my hands over his eyes. Sitting down on his lap I planted a kiss on his lips and finally let off his eyes.

His face lit up and soon fell as he realized the trick I had pulled.

"You bitch!" he exclaimed, "I can't believe you got me."

"I said I wasn't going to be wearing my clothes; I never said anything about yours."

"You're good, Lacey Monroe."

"You're better," I cooed before pulling him into a kiss. We fell sideways over on the couch and I ran my fingers threw his hair and he kissed down my neck.

His hands wandered down my body and soon reached the fly of his jeans. I grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

"Come on Lacey," he pleaded, "why are you so afraid to do anything?"

"Why are you so scared to tell me you love me?"


	2. Need a push?

**It's shorter, but it's the start of something new :)**

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After John avoided the subject of love once again I decided now was the nest time to stomp off dramatically to see if he'd follow me. He didn't.

I climbed the stairs and threw to door to his room open. Kicking off his converses, I lay on the bed and enveloped myself in his sheets. They smelled like him, which wasn't a bad thing. John's scent triggered memories I had thought I had forgotten years ago. Memories of us growing up, memories of us falling in love.

I rolled over on my side and grabbed his iPod off the nightstand and shoved the headphones in my ears. Scrolling through, I found my favorite John Mayer song and turned the volume down a few notches.

My eyes slowly batted to a close and I fell into a deep sleep wrapped up in John's warm bed. I had a weird dream; at least I think it was weird. I remember I was walking down the street and John Gomez was behind me while John Ohh walked in front of me. They were arguing about something but weren't looking at each other. I tried to speak up but they never seemed to hear me. All of a sudden John Gomez tripped and fell into me; I woke up as I crashed into John Ohh's back.

"What the fuck," I whispered as I stretched. "My dreams are fucking weird."

Sadly, John was still not in his room next to me. Stupid plan for a guy who wanted some ass. Pulling the blankets back, I slipped out of bed and checked John's computer screen for the time. I had slept for three hours, holy shit. John's parents would be home in another three.

The stairs cooled my warm feet as I thumped down them and called John's name. To my surprise there was no response. Passing through the kitchen, I checked the living room and still found no John. On the coffee I noticed a small blue envelope with my phone placed on top. I grabbed my phone and shoved it in my pocket as I realized the envelope was marked with my name. I ripped it open and held the piece of paper it contained in my hands. On it was written:

"_Lacey Catherine Elizabeth Monroe_

_I'm sure you're confused by now._

_And I figured you would be._

_I'm hiding and you have to find me._

_Think back to way back when, when we didn't know what sex was yet?_

_Go back to where we first met."_

"Oh John," I sighed as I shook my head. Shoving the note in my pocket, I ran up stairs to grab my shoes. As I jogged up the stairs I thought about the place John and I had first met. It was the park down the street from our elementary school. But how was I going to get there, I couldn't drive and John obviously had the car.

"Great job John," I mumbled, "I can't get there if I have no ride."

I slipped on my Vans and left John's room. Bounding back down the stairs, I unlocked the kitchen door and slid outside. Sitting in the driveway was Ross' motor scooter and a helmet hanging off the left handle bar.

"Nice John," I whispered to the Arizona air. "But I'm not wearing a helmet."

I hopped on the scooter and turned the keys that were already in the ignition. I didn't know how John got Ross to let him do this. This scooter was his baby, if anything happened to it, he'd most likely kill me.

Reaching the end of the drive way, I took a left and sped towards the park. The wind cooled my face and I felt John's shirt hug my chest tighter. Soon I noticed a dark blue car with familiar faces sitting in the front seats. The car began to slow down and I did the same.

"Hey Kenny," I called into the window.

"Hey Lace," he replied chuckling, "can I ask what you're doing?"

"John's sending me on some wild goose chase or something," I replied, "I headed towards the park where we first met."

"That's so romantic," Gabi gushed from the passenger seat, "Kenny why don't you send me on wild goose chases."

"Because you'd hate it," Kennedy replied, "do you really want to ride around on a scooter looking for randomly placed notes?"

"I guess you're right," Gabi shrugged.

"You guys are too much," I giggled as I rolled my eyes, "are you headed toward Max's?"

Kennedy shook his head and nodded his head down the street, "you going?"

"Not sure," I replied, "I have no idea when this fun little activity will be over."

"Alright well try and make it if you can," Kennedy urged, "it's gonna be sick."

"I'll try," I replied, "have you seen John by any chance?"

"Not since English this afternoon, sorry."

"It's alright, have fun guys. Maybe I'll see you later."

Gabi smiled and Kennedy waved as they drove away. They were a cute couple but I knew they weren't going to last forever. They were too different, or too alike. Either way, they were going to suffocate each other eventually.

Continuing on my journey, I sped down the street and finally reached the park about 10 minutes later. Parking it in the small area for bikes, I hopped off and grabbed the keys. Taking the note out of my pocket I read it again.

"_Think back to way back when, when we didn't know what sex was yet?_

_Go back to where we first met."_

We had first met at the swings; I could remember it like it was yesterday. At 8 years old I was the quiet little red head girl who had more Barbies than best friends and didn't talk much. John was the 10 year old athletic, tall, talk of the town class clown. I was swinging along and he came up to the swing next to me. He sat down and asked if I needed a push to go faster. I accepted his offer and tried to slow down a little bit. He ran up behind me and pushed the swing with all his might. As I flew up in the air he ran under me and waited on the other side.

As I stood before the very same swing I felt the wind blow my hair against my neck and felt that liberating rush I had felt 8 years ago as I flew through the air.

"I love you John O'Callaghan," I whispered the wind as I spotted the next note. A small blue envelope sat on the ground next to the pole holing up the swings. I grabbed it and felt a bump inside. I tore it open and a small mp3 player fell into my hand. I turned it over and read the screen as I took out the note. It read:

"_Lacey you little thief._

_Do you remember when I took the blame?_

_Have you changed your stealing ways, or are you the same?_

_Because I was the one you always trusted,_

_Go back to the place where I saved your ass from getting busted."_


	3. Don't be so blind

**Ohh Lacey, there's about to be some drama.**

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Knowing exactly where to go, I hopped on my scooter and started heading towards the mall. With another clue in hand, I wondered where all of this was going to end up. How had John planned this? He couldn't have done it all when I was asleep, he must've had the idea for weeks, months maybe. He was so sweet.

I reached the bridge and stopped for a second. Taking a scooter over the bridge probably wasn't the best idea, but it was the only way to the mall. Checking for cars, I merged on and picked up as much speed as I could. Ross' little scooter could actually haul some ass. Going over the bridge I admired the scenery around me. The sun was high in the sky and the beautiful houses were all aligned in perfect rows. At the end of Mulberry Lane was my house. It was a quaint two story colonial with blue shutters and a flower garden starting in the front and working its way around the side of the house. My mom kept to the flowers, never letting any die. Her and my sister Carolyn used to grow them together until she passed away a few years ago. I helped my mom with them sometimes but it just wasn't the same. Carolyn was my mom's pride and joy; with my sister Gwen 4 months pregnant, and well, me…in my mom's head she lost everything the day Carolyn died. Now Gwen had a two year old daughter and I was always with John.

Reaching the end of the bridge, I sped to the mall and parked on the sidewalk. It was busy, though I expected it to be on the last day of school. Slipping the keys in my pocket and reciting the note again in my head, I pushed open the glass doors and stepped into the jungle of the food court. People were buzzing everywhere; ordering, picking up their food, and scraping together a few bucks to buy a pack of cigarettes at the small news stand that always "forgot to card."

Barely making it halfway through the food court I already heard someone calling my name. Stopping in my tracks I turned around and found a jogging John Gomez trying to flag me down.

"Hey!" he finally exclaimed as he reached my side. "What's up? Why are you at the mall aren't you going to Max's?"

"Well, I would be," I replied, "but John's got me on some random wild goose chase."

"Chasing what?" he asked as we continued weaving through the tables full of eating Arizonians.

"Notes," I replied pulling one out of my pocket.

"Let me see!" He snatched one out of my hand and began reading the short but sweet poem. He smiled awkwardly and handed it back to me, "that's cool."

"Yeah I guess." I placed the note back in my pocket and hopped on the escalator to take me up to the second floor.

"So why are you here?" I asked John.

He scratched his head and leaned up against the railing, "not exactly sure, Kennedy gave me a ride here after school and I've been here since."

"John," I rolled my eyes, "you've been at the mall for three hours!"

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, maybe go to Max's," I suggested, "or hangout with Jess or something. Aren't you guys like close."

"Jess Bowen? Yeah, we're friends. But she's _not_ my girlfriend," John replied, emphasizing the "not."

"I see." I shook my head.

"So I wanted to ask you something," John began.

"Ask away."

"Why are you wearing John's clothes?"

I looked down and remembered that I was indeed still dressed in John's clothing. I hadn't changed before I left and forgotten about it completely. I hoped I wouldn't see anyone else from school here.

"Long story," I replied, hiding my embarrassment.

"Gotcha." John shook his head, "so are you and John like officially together?"

"What's up with the questions today?" I replied.

"Just curious, I mean you guys have been friends for so long…"

"We've known each other our whole lives," I replied, "I guess we never really made it 'official' cause it's always been this way. It's always been John and Lacey. I don't think he's ever called me his girlfriend."

"Does it bother you?" John asked as we reached the end of the walkway. The store was about ten feet up and I didn't know if John planned to stick around as I kept hunting for notes.

"Not really." I lied. Of course it bothered me that John never called me his girlfriend, but no one ever asked him to. If John was hanging out with his friends and I was with him, I was Lacey. If John was talking to his mom about me, I was Lacey. I guess we didn't need labels. That's what love was right? Like a friendship but you didn't need to be labeled, you just were.

"Well the stores right here." I pointed towards the hobby shop and stopped in the middle of the walkway.

"Do you mind if I come with you?" John asked. He looked so eager I couldn't say no. John was my friend there was no reason he couldn't come with me. But why did I feel so guilty? Oh yeah, the fact that he's had the same devoted crush on me since we were twelve.

John by my side, we entered the store and started snooping around. I found the mp3 player display and figured the note would be hidden somewhere in there but no blue envelope was in sight. John rummaged through the stuffed animal bin and motioned he found nothing. The young guy sitting at the counter noticed our snooping ways and asked if we needed any help.

"Uhm, actually we're looking for something," I replied as we approached the counter.

"What do you need?" He asked, "electronics, games, cards…"

"Actually, this is going to sound stupid, but did you by any chance see a guy come in here and stick a tiny blue envelope anywhere?"

"Uh yeah actually," he replied hopping off his stool, "he asked me if it was okay to put it in with the fake snakes."

"_Nice John,"_ I thought to myself, he knew I was terrified of snakes. He had put it there to mess with me.

The employee led John and I to the rubber snake display and moved a few around. "Here we go!" he exclaimed as he pulled out a blue envelope marked "Lacey."

"Thank you," I replied as he handed it to me.

I tore it open as John waited eagerly, "what's it say?"

"There's money!" I replied as a two twenty dollar bills slid into my hand. Along with them came another note and I read it out loud.

"_Cha Ching, Lacey Loo!_

_Spend your money wisely, only on perfection._

_I simply want you to look your best,_

_Go to Macy's and pick out a beautiful dress."_

"He wants you to buy a dress?"

"I guess so," I replied, "come on let's go to Macy's"

We took off down the mall walkway and spotted a huge Macy's sign hanging above two gold slick doors. John pulled one open for me and I stepped inside. The whole interior smelled like expensive cologne and maybe a hint of coffee. Women's was downstairs and I knew there was an escalator inside if we took a left at the end of the gold entry way.

"So what do you think he wants you to buy a dress for?" John asked as we found the escalator.

"Like I know," I replied, "this is John were talking about."

"Maybe he's taking you out later or something," John suggested, "have you uh, talked to him at all since this goose chase started."

I shook my head and stepped out onto another gold floor leading to the women's section. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," John quickly replied.

Entering the colorful dress display I almost got lost in the gorgeous gowns and sundresses with different beadings and cuts. It was almost fairy tale like; all I needed was my sweet prince.

"Hello, can I help you find what you're looking for?" A women with a name tag reading "Meredith; Sales Associate" asked as she cut in front of our path.

"I need to find a dress," I replied, "for around $40."

"No problem," she wagged her finger and I took off after her, John close behind. Stopping in front of a rack of light material sundresses, Meredith explained they were on some special sale and I could find the perfect dress for under $35.

"Thank you," I replied as she handed me a dress she thought "clashed well with my sine tone." She smiled and shuffled away, her walky-talky looking box clicking with every step.

"That dress is really ugly," John exclaimed once she was out of earshot.

"Tell me about it." I hung the dress up back on the rack and began scaling through. I found a short blue dress with a lighter blue at the bottom that I guess would fall right about mid thigh.

"You'd look beautiful in that dress," John whispered.

"Thank you," I replied, a little taken back. I slug it over my arm and kept looking.

"So what do you know about Melissa Olsen?" John asked crossing his arms over the rack of dresses opposite of the ones I was looking at.

"Not much." I shrugged, "she's a twin right? She's a year older than us."

"Are her and John friends?"

"I guess so," I replied, getting a little frustrated, "why do you want to know."

"No reason."

"No John, there's obviously a reason. You've been asking weird questions this whole time, I'm beginning to think there's something you're not telling me."

"Lacey, I…"

Walking around the rack of dresses, I stood face to face with John and gripped the dress tightly in my sweating palm.

"John, just tell me okay. I won't get mad at you, I promise. Is there something wrong with John? With Melissa?"

"It's just…Lacey I don't want to start any…"

"John," I cooed, putting on my seductress voice, "will you please just tell me what's going on?"

"I can't," John sighed, "It's not my business…I just can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you Lacey, I can't hurt you…"

"Yes you can John, you didn't do anything wrong, just tell me what you know."

"What I know? You don't want to know what I know, just trust me. Just let it go."

"Are you insane? You can't just bring this shit up and expect me to just drop it, just tell me what you fucking know!"

I had finally cracked him, he balled his hands into fists and I could see the muscles getting tense in his neck. "What I know Lacey, is that I've been in love with you since I was fucking 12 years old and you've been so wrapped up in John you were to blind to see it. Just like you've been too blind to see that John's been cheating on you with Melissa for the past two months."

"What?" I breathed as I stepped backwards, "don't make shit up like that John, you can't say things like that that aren't true."

"Nothing I said wasn't true Lacey," John replied as he turned away, "go find out for yourself."

"John wait!" I exclaimed, as a tear fell down my cheek, "how-how do you know?"

"I'm not stupid Lacey, John thinks I'm stupid. He talks about all the shit him and Melissa do right in front of me. Every Tuesday at four o'clock when he tells you he has band practice, he's really with Melissa. Band practice is Thursday nights, when you have bass lessons."

I couldn't hold back anymore, I threw the dress at the display and broke down into an eruption of tears. John pulled me in and whispered to stop, "this is why I didn't want to tell you."


	4. Once A Whore

**Updateeeeee :)**

* * *

"I'm so sorry Lacey," John whispered over my shoulder, "do you want to go home?"

Pulling away from his chest, I wiped my eyes and took in a deep breath. I must've looked ridiculous; crying over the fact that the guy that wasn't even officially my boyfriend was seeing someone else. Melissa was one of John's closest friends, maybe they weren't doing anything. Maybe John Gomez was mistaken or heard wrong or something.

"No," I replied, "I'm going to finish this dumb scavenger hunt and then I'm going to talk to John. I'm going to ask him what's really going on."

"If that's what you think is best…" John began, "but I don't want to see you get your heart broken."

"He couldn't possibly break my heart," I replied coldly, "he doesn't have it."

Grabbing the dress off the rack, I stomped over to the counter and handed her the two twenties, instructing the sales associate to keep the change. John trailed close behind and watched every little move I made. I didn't know whether to feel creeped out or protected.

"Are you by any chance Lacey?" the female checkout clerk asked me as she gently placed the dress in a plastic dress bag.

"Uhm, yeah." I replied, "let me guess, you have a note for me."

"In fact I do," she replied as she handed me yet another tiny blue envelope.

Before even leaving the counter I ripped it open and began reading the poem telling me where to go next.

"_Hello beautiful._

_I hope you love your dress._

_Go home and freshen up._

_Take a relaxing shower _

_And meet me at Julian's in an hour."_

Julian's? He wanted me to meet him at Julian's? That's the fancy shmancy restaurant in the center of Phoenix. Did he expect me to ride my scooter all the way there in a new dress. And why an hour? What was he doing now?

Stepping away from the counter, I thanked the employee and motioned for John to follow me. Not like he wasn't going to anyway. We reentered the mall and I spotted an empty bench we could rest on.

Taking a seat, I pulled out my phone and shuffled through my contacts.

"Are you calling John?" John asked.

"Nope," I replied as I found the number. I hit talk and place the phone up to my ear.

"Hey Lace," Kennedy answered on the other line. The party going on in the background nearly drowned out his voice and he nearly had to shout so I could hear him.

"Hi Kenny, I need to ask you something. And don't lie to me. I know when you're lying. I always know."

"Okay okay I won't lie to you," he chuckled, "what do you want to know?"

"Is John at Max's party right now?"

A few seconds of hesitation went by and I repeated the question; "Kennedy, is John at Max's right now."

The song in the background changed and the volume bumped up a few notches. Kennedy began to quietly stutter and I could feel the anger rising in my entire body.

"John Franklin Trotter, answer my question right the fuck now!" I screamed into the phone, each word echoing off the walls of the mall.

"Yes Lacey!" Kennedy yelled, "yes he's here."

"Is he with anyone?"

"He's with everyone, it's a party…"

"Cut the shit, Kennedy. You know damn well what I'm asking, is he with anyone?"

Kennedy sighed into the receiver; "yeah, I saw him a few minutes ago with Melissa. They were just talking, nothing to be worried about…"

I hung up the phone and let my arm drop into my lap.

"Not good news?" John asked.

"He's at the party," I explained, "with Melissa."

John sighed as he shut his eyes, "I told you I didn't want you to get hurt. I should have kept my mouth shut, I'm so stupid."

"Did you mean what you said?" I asked, interrupting his rant.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"What you said about being in love with me, and me being to blind to see it."

"Yeah, I guess so…I mean…you…"

"You shouldn't love me, John." I whispered, "I'm not worth it. I'm not good enough for you. Obviously I'm not good enough for John."

"Don't say that, don't ever say that," John argued, "You are amazing Lacey and any guy that's going to hurt you like that, isn't good enough for you."

"But it's John," I replied as I choked on my oncoming tears, "he's not supposed to be able to hurt me, he just can't."

"People can surprise you Lacey," John replied as he gently touched my hand, "just don't let it get to you. Fuck him! You don't need him. You have a gorgeous dress, a scooter that got you here, and…me."

"John that's really sweet, but I think I'm just going to go home. I'll see you tomorrow or something," I replied as I got up off the bench.

John quickly shot up and gripped my hand tighter, "no, don't go home. Don't give in. I have an idea."

"What John?"

"We go to the party!" John exclaimed, "you go home get all dolled up and beautiful, which won't be hard for you at all. Then we go to the party together and give John a little taste of his own medicine."

I thought about the idea for a second, pondering the potential outcomes and finally responded, "John, you're a genius."

Dragging John along behind me, we raced out of the mall and hopped onto the scooter. I let John drive since he insisted he knew a quick way home from the mall. I placed the dress in the storage box and gripped tightly to John's waist. We took off and I rested my head on his back, shielding my eyes from the wind. He was warm and cool at the same time, and at that moment he was my only hope of not delving myself into a gallon of ice cream and hours of soap operas tonight.

To my surprise, John actually got us home fairly quickly. Dragging the dress out of the box, I ran up to the front door and checked to see if anyone was home. Gwen was at a friends house tonight and my parents were probable out to dinner or doing what ever they do now that they've lost connection with their other daughters who were very much alive.

Pushing the door open, I waved John inside and called into the house just incase. John shut the door behind him and slipped off his shoes, I hadn't told him my mom didn't allow shoes in the house but he must've assumed due to the ever growing pile of shoes my the door.

I marched up stairs and took a left to get to the stairs up to my room. I lived in the "attic" which was really just one big room over top of the whole second floor. I climbed the stairs, with John a few steps behind and finally stepped onto my hard wood floor. The fish tank buzzed in the corner while my cat Sheila slept peacefully on my pillow. John took careful steps over to my computer chair and took a seat.

"So this is your room."

"This is true," I replied, "so how many boners have you gotten imaging what this place looked like."

"What?" John exclaimed, jolting forward in the chair.

"God, calm down. I'm kidding."

I hung the dress up in my closet and shuffled through my hanging clothes.

"What should I wear to the party?" I asked John over my shoulder.

"Anything," John replied, "I mean you'd look good in anything."

"Thanks," I replied rolling my eyes, "but I could really use your help here."

John hopped up out of the computer chair and joined my side at the closet opening. He poked through a few tops and finally landed on a leather mini vest with a shit ton of zippers.

"I like this," he exclaimed, holding it up.

"That was part of a Halloween costume John," I replied, "I don't think I should wear it to the party."

"But Lacey, could you imagine how hott you'd look in this…"

"No, but you can."

John blushed and handed me the mini vest, "I'm telling you, wear this to the party and John will be kicking himself all night for even thinking about Melissa."

"Fine," I rolled my eyes and grabbed the vest, "and what am I wearing on the bottom?"

"Where are your skirts?" John asked.

"In the middle drawer of my dresser right there," I replied as I pointed to my tall dresser in the far corner of my room.

John marched over and carefully pulled the middle drawer open, he shuffled through and suddenly stopped. Clearing his throat, I heard his hand hit cardboard and padded over to his side. He held up a box of what I thought were cleverly hidden condoms.

"I uh, I found these."

"Yeah, they uh, they're aren't open or anything. I have them just incase…John and I…"

"Lacey you don't have to explain yourself," John cut me off, "it's not my business."

"No, I just don't want you to think I'm a slut. I'm a virgin, John."

"That's great Lacey," John replied, rising from his knees and handing me a light wash destroyed mini skirt from Hollister.

"I'll go put these on." I awkwardly grabbed the skirt and took off for my bathroom. I shut the door tight behind me and leaned up against the sink. I couldn't believe John had found my condoms. Just imagining what he must've thought of me made my stomach hurt. I wasn't a whore. I looked down at the outfit he had picked out and groaned. Now not only did I act like a whore, I would look like one.


	5. Party's Over

**Things are about to get...fucked uppppp.**

* * *

Kicking off John's jeans, I slid on the skirt and shifted it into place. Thankfully, I had shaved that morning and my legs were still shimmering from my gold fleck self tanning lotion. I looked down at John's jeans on the ground and gave them a little nudge with my foot. If he thought he was getting these back he was crazy. If he thought I was ever talking to him again he was crazy.

Looking in the mirror at my broken expression, I pulled off John's shirt and pulled on the leather mini vest. Zipping it up halfway, I left a hint of cleavage showing. My hair lay flat and I grabbed a bottle of hairspray off the back of the toilet. Pulling my wispy bangs up into a bump I coated them in hairspray and pinned the ends down on the crown of my head.

I opened the door to find John still on my bed, going through a notebook. As soon as he noticed me he tossed it back under my nightstand and stood up. He swallowed hard and slowly paced over to the bathroom door.

"How do I look?" I asked.

"Hott," John replied before he reached for the door frame, propping himself up.

"Hott enough to make John regret cheating on me?"

"Hott enough to make John regret even thinking about, thinking about another girl," John replied.

"Okay." I sighed and walked out of the bathroom, "let's go to the party then."

"We don't have to go to the party if you don't want to," John lightly replied as I kicked off John's converses and slipped on my black gladiator sandals.

"Well what are we supposed to do, John? Sit around for an hour and then show up at Julian's and let John get away with all this?"

"Or you could call him right now and tell him you know everything and you're done with him," John suggested.

"Great idea John," I replied rolling my eyes, "because John would care."

"What makes you say that?" John asked, "doesn't he love you?"

The words set me on my ass and I collapsed onto my bed. John timidly joined by my side and stared at the far wall. "Did I say something wrong?"

"He's never told me he loved me," I replied, "at least now I know why."

"He does love you, Lacey. He's probably just scared…"

"Scared of what?" I exclaimed, firming my grip on the pillow in my lap.

"Scared of losing you…" John suggested, "just think Lacey, he's going away soon, and the band. What if he tells you he loves you and then never sees you again."

"That's no excuse," I argued, "and you're one to talk, Mr. "I'm in love with you." How come you're not afraid to say it and we're not even together?"

"Because I'm not going anywhere," John replied, sincerity dripping off every word.

I let the words sink in and finally leaned closer into John. Lightly holding his cheek, I pulled his face close into mine as we locked eyes. John hesitated but finally we pushed our lips together and pulled apart just as fast.

"What just happened?" John whispered.

"I think we kissed," I replied, gently touching my lips.

"Wanna do it again?" John eagerly asked.

Without hesitation, I pulled him in again and pressed our lips together. His hand wondered down my side and I felt a chill go down my body.

"John wait," I whispered between our synchronizing lips. "We can't do this."

"You're right," John replied as we pulled apart, "this is wrong."

"It didn't feel wrong," I whispered.

I hopped off the bed and smoothed out my skirt. Checking my hair in the mirror, I reapplied my lip gloss and painted on some mascara.

"Let's go to the party," I announced to the John who was still sitting stunned on the bed. "Come on John, let's go."

Finally, he came too and lifted himself up off the bed. Following me down the stairs, he fixed my hair in the back and his finger tips tickled my neck.

"Stop it," I giggled.

"Stop what?" John asked, continuing to run his fingers across the back of my neck.

"You know exactly what you're doing," I replied as we reached the bottom of the stairs. I turned around and gave him a look but before I could make another move he pecked my lips.

I giggled under my breath and wiped the lip gloss off his lips. "Pink just isn't your color."

We left the house and hopped back on the scooter. John started it up and I told him which streets to take to get to Max's. We peeled out of the driveway and I hugged tight to John's chest. As we rode along, I closed my eyes and imagined I was on a big motorcycle driving off into the middle of no where. I tried to picture the driver but every time I only saw the back of John Ohh's head. My heart hurt just thinking about him, and knowing that I'd never be on the back of his motorcycle.

Ten minuets later we arrived at Max's and my stomach flipped as we pulled into the driveway. Smoothing down my hair, I hopped off the scooter and grabbed John's hand.

"It's going to be fine," John assured me, sensing my nerves.

Spotting Stephen in the backyard, we marched through the gate and faced a crowd of buzzed high school graduates. Kennedy stood next to the food table holing a can of Coors Light chatting it up with Aaron as Gabi sat in a camping chair by the fire pit. Melissa's sister, Ashley, was dressed in a bikini top and short denim shorts heading towards the pool.

As soon as Stephen noticed us he came bounding over and gave me a once over, "Lacey you look…"

"Where's John?" I asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"He's inside…aren't you supposed to be meeting him at Julian's?"

"Change of plans," I replied, before dragging John towards the back door.

"Lacey?" I heard a voice exclaim. I turned around and met eyes with Halvo. He came stumbling over and gave me the same look Stephen just had. "You're here?"

"Do you where John is?" I asked.

"He's inside…"

"I know, Eric. Where inside?"

"I don't know," he replied, "probably upstairs. He wasn't drinking cause he knew he had to meet you at that place. Total buzz kill."

"How sweet," I replied, rolling my eyes.

Stepping inside the air conditioning hit me in the face and I searched the swarming crowd for John. With no sight of him, I pulled John further into the house until I found the stairs. We marched up, taking two steps at a time and went through the first open door. An unmade bed lay in the far left corner and a Tom Petty poster hang on the wall. A door leading to what I had guessed to be a bathroom was to my right and I tip toed over.

"When is it supposed to tell you if you are or not?" I heard John asked.

"The box said three minutes," Melissa's voice replied.

"Oh my god," I whispered, "she's pregnant!"

Tears burned behind my eye lids and I snapped them shut and backed away from the door.

"Is someone out there?" I heard John ask the door. The handle turned as soon pushed open. His eyes widened as he saw John and I standing before him.

"Lacey?" he exclaimed.

"I thought I stop by the party, to you know say hi, maybe grab a beer, oh and find out the results of Melissa's pregnancy test."

"Lacey…"

"Save it John. Don't even try and explain yourself because I don't want to hear it. If you want to be Melissa, that's fine. But don't even thinking about talking to me. Forget I even exist John."

"Lacey, I don't want to be with Melissa…"

"Oh that's great, John. You knock her up and you don't want to be with her. You're quite the catch, Mr. O'Callaghan."

"Lacey…"

"Go fuck yourself, John."

I stomped out of the room and raced down the stairs, not leaving John anytime to come after me. Weaving back through the indoor crowd, I booked it out of the back door and stood in the center of the party.

"Attention everyone!" I exclaimed. Heads turned in my direction and I grasped the whole party's focus.

"I think you should all know that Melissa Olsen is pregnant with John O'Callaghan's baby. Have a nice rest of the party."

I marched back through the gate and slumped on the scooter. John hopped on and looked over his shoulder.

"I'm really sorry, Lacey."

"Can you just take me home," I mumbled, "I just want to go home."

"No problem," John replied as we took off out of the driveway.


	6. I love you, well maybe

**Holy wow. Poor little Lacey just can't stay away from trouble.**

* * *

Arriving at my house, I attempted to wipe the tears away but they kept falling. I hopped off the back of the scooter and suddenly felt over exposed. I wrapped my arms around my chest and slowly made my way towards the door.

"I'll see you soon, Lacey." John called behind me, still not dismounting the scooter.

"Where are you going?" I asked, wiping around.

"I'm gonna bring the scooter back to John's and then head back to Max's."

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because Stephen's my only ride home," he replied.

"John no. There's no way I'm letting you get in a car with Stephen after he's been partying for 10 hours at Max's. Just come inside, I don't want to be alone tonight any way."

"Lacey, I…"

"Just shut up and come inside," I replied turning around and opening the door. The house was dark and empty and the feeling of loneliness crept into my stomach. I wanted more than any thing for some how Carolyn to be there. She would take me up in her arms and recite all the sisterly stuff that would make me stop crying and then we'd go for a ride and get ice cream and talk about how dumb boys were. Just the thought of her not being there made my heart hurt even more. The hot tears burned as I stomped up the stairs to my room and finally hit the hard wood floor. John trailed close behind and didn't say a word. It was almost comforting, I was alone but no alone at the same time.

I slipped off the gladiator sandals and began pulling down my skirt. John cleared his throat as he turned his head.

"Sorry," I whispered, "I forgot I wasn't alone."

"It's alright," he replied over his shoulder, "I can go downstairs if you want."

"You don't have to go anywhere. I really don't care anymore."

I continued to pull down my skirt and padded over to the bed to get my pajama pants. Slipping them on, I began to unzip the leather mini vest and draped my chest with John's baseball t-shirt. I slept in it every night, it was my comfort, but now it just felt cold and itchy.

John kicked his feet off the edge of the bed and checked his phone for the seventh time. I plopped down next to him and grabbed my glasses off the night stand.

Remaining on the edge of the bed, John kept silent and pulled out his phone once more.

"You can stay on the futon tonight if you want," I announced, pointing at the futon across the room.

"Thanks but uh, I don't think me staying here is a good idea," he replied.

"Why not?" I retorted, "what are you afraid of John?"

"No," John replied with a laugh in his voice, "I just don't think you're mom would be okay with it…"

"My mom is okay with a Vicodin and a bottle of wine, and that's even if she comes home tonight."

"She's still taking the Carolyn thing hard huh?" John asked, finally swinging his legs up on the bed.

"We all are," I replied, "she's was a great sister and a really great person."

"I know she was," John agreed, "I'm really sorry about what happened."

John gently reached for my hand and I contemplated pulling it back, but instead I grasped it and let the tears fall once again. John leaned over and pushed the hair out of my face.

"It's gonna be okay," he whispered.

"You keep saying that but it's not," I cried, "nothing is going to be okay. John's cheating on me and got Melissa fucking pregnant. My sister's dead. My mom's emotionally dead. My other sister has a two year old daughter who I don't even think she knows who the father its. And me, what do I have? I have nothing."

"You have me!" John exclaimed, "I'm always here for you."

"I know John," I replied as I wiped the tears, "you're a great friend."

John's hand coiled back towards his side as he sighed.

"I really need a friend right now, John."

"I know." John shook his head.

"You're a great guy John," I continued, "but we can't be together. You shouldn't love me. I'm not worth your time. And no matter what happens between us, I can promise you that I will always love John. John O'Callaghan."

John shook his head and slipped off the bed. He began heading towards the stairs and I jumped off the bed after him.

"Don't go," I whispered, pulling his into a hug, "like I said, I really need a friend right now."

"I won't go," John replied, "but it's going to be really hard to just get over you Lacey. You're the only girl I've ever wanted to be with this bad. I don't why it's you, but some how some way my heart chose you and I don't know when it's going to stop."

"It'll stop, I promise."

"You've been making a lot of promises, Lacey." John plopped down on the futon and kicked off his shoes, "no which one's are you going to keep?"

The next morning I woke up to an empty room and stared at the vacant futon, feeling the same alone feeling I had last night.

"John!" I called. With no response, I crawled off the bed and lay my feet on the chilled floor. Counting my steps to the stairs, I descended the steps and called into the house again. "John!"

"I'm in the kitchen," he replied. A wave of relief washed over me and I picked up speed towards the kitchen. Turning the corner I met eyes with Gwen who was feeding her daughter Madison at the table.

"Thanks for introducing me to your new boyfriend Lacey," she joked as I took a seat.

"He's not my boyfriend, Gwen." I stuck my tongue out at her when John wasn't looking.

"Well he spent the night," Gwen replied with a wink.

John joined us at the table and handed me a plate of strawberry pancakes. "Did you make these?"

"I woke up a little early and found the mix in the cabinet, I didn't think anyone would mind."

"It's fine," Gwen replied stuffing her face. "I like him Lacey, he's a keeper. Sex and breakfast the next morning."

Nearly choking on my pancake I exclaimed, "we did not have sex!"

John took an uncomfortable sip of orange juice as Gwen laughed under her breath.

"Come on Lace, he slept over and you didn't do anything?"

"No Gwen, some people can keep their legs closed. Do you think I want to end up like you?"

John sucked in a deep breath and shoved more pancakes in his mouth, "I sure love pancakes."

"Keep it up Lacey and you'll end up like Carolyn," Gwen coldly replied.

"Really fucking funny," I exclaimed, slamming my fork against my plate, a little chip of ceramic falling off.

I stomped away from the table and leaned my back up against the wall facing the front door. I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair. My face was hot and my feet cold and I didn't know how to feel. I heard John apologize as he cleared my plate and I turned back to the kitchen. The door bell rang and I jumped in surprise.

Pulling it open I met eyes with a very hungover looking John O'Callaghan. He was holding a small blue envelope and wore a tired expression.

"We need to talk," he began, "about everything."

"We have nothing to talk about John," I replied, grabbing the door frame. Slam! His hand hit the door and stopped it from closing in his face.

"Lacey, we need to talk."

"Talk to me when you're sober," I snarled.

"I am sober, I didn't drink last night," he urged, "I couldn't drink last night, I was the designated driver."

"Well I'm sorry John, cause you probably could have used a celebratory drink last night. Oh yeah, by the way, congratulations dad!"

"Listen, you need to know two things."

"Fine you have two seconds and then I'm closing this door and forgetting your name."

"One. Melissa isn't pregnant. And two, even if she was it wouldn't have been my baby."

It took a second for the words to settle, "wait what?"

"Melissa and I are just friends, we've never done anything. Especially sleep together. She didn't want to tell anyone that she thought she was pregnant because the guy who would have been the father is kind of already taken."

"Who?" I asked.

"I can't tell you and it doesn't matter now."

"No it does matter, John."

"No it doesn't!" he exclaimed. "Can I just come inside."

"I don't think that's a good idea," I replied.

"And why's that?"

"Because Gwen's here and she doesn't want to see your face just as much as I don't."

"What does Gwen have against me?" John asked, his tone revealing he already knew the answer.

"You know what, John. You know she never wanted us together because she knew that it wasn't going to work out and she was right. She always told me you'd find a way to break my heart and you did."

"But I didn't do anything wrong!"

"You might not have slept with Melissa, but you ditched me to go to Max's party and be with her."

"Because she thought she was pregnant, Lacey! I was the only person she could talk to about this."

I chuckled and prepared to shut the door again, "oh that's right because I forgot she doesn't have a twin sister, and a family, and other friends."

"Look Lace, I'm sorry I have friends and I'm sorry that some of them may be girls, but you are the only girl I want to be with. You're the only girl I can see myself with for the rest of my life."

"That's nice John, but I think we need some time apart."

Before John could respond, John Gomez came around the corner carrying a glass of freshly poured juice. "Who's at the…"

"John?" John Ohh exclaimed.

"Oh shit," John Gomez whispered under his breath.

"Did he? Did he spend the night? What the fuck Lacey!" John thrashed into the house and nearly grabbed John by the throat.

"John stop!" I screamed. Gwen came running around the corner and John stopped in his tracks.

"I can't believe you!" he boomed, "you freak on me because you think I was sleeping with Melissa and then John spends the night."

Anger flashed through my body and I pushed John towards the door, "just get out!"

"Did you sleep with him?" he yelled. I didn't respond, but instead attempted to slam the door again.

"Did. You. Sleep. With. Him?" John exclaimed again.

"Yes!" I screamed the lie louder than I had ever screamed, "and it was amazing. John's twice the man you'll ever be!"

"You're a slut Lacey," John screamed, he threw the envelope at me and glared at John, "you might as well have this, not like it means anything now."

"Just get away from me!" I shouted as I slammed the door.

John held me as I cried into his chest and grasped the envelope tight.

"Lacey, you need to go after him," Gwen exclaimed, "you need to tell him you lied. He's never going to talk to you again."

"Isn't this what you wanted!" I replied, "you never wanted us to be together."

"That might be true, but I didn't want you guys to end like this. Not because of a lie. You need to tell him the truth, even if it's the last conversation you have."

I stomped towards the stairs and ignored Gwen and John's calls behind me. As I reached my room I threw the envelope on the ground and ripped off John's shirt.

Throwing myself on the bed, I erupted into a fit of tears and rage. I heard John enter the room but did nothing. He grabbed the envelope off the floor and joined my side on the bed. Rubbing my back he whispered "it's going to be okay" and "I'm so sorry" over and over again. I finally sat up and grabbed the envelope from him. Tearing it open, I attempted to read the note of three small words.

_I love you._


	7. Secrets are better shared

**Words can't even begin...**

* * *

The next few days were nothing but a blur. I didn't talk to either John. I was too afraid one of them hated me, or maybe even both.

Saturday morning, I finally rolled out of bed and crawled down the steps. The house was empty and the sound of silence pierced my ears. No food sounded good, so I passed the kitchen and plopped down on the living room couch.

There was nothing on TV. I was trapped in a world of nothing. Finally, I dragged myself out of the living room and back up to my room to get dressed for a run. Maybe the fresh air would do me good.

Just as I pulled on my Nike's my phone vibrated from across the room and I raced for it, desperate for any type of civil conversation.

It was John O'Callaghan. At first I wasn't going to answer, but I knew I had too. I knew I'd regret it if I didn't.

"Hello," I answered as I hit talk.

"Hey Lace, do you have any plans for the day?"

What was this? Was he asking to hang out. Five days ago he didn't want to see my face. Did he forget everything that had happened?

"No, I was about to go for a run," I replied, "why what's up?"

"Well I'm going to visit the campus today and I wanted to know if you wanted to come with me?"

"Campus? As in college campus?"

'Yeah ASU," he replied, "come on it'll be fun."

"John I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you Lacey, but we do have a lot to talk about." He sighed and waited for my response.

Fiddling with them hem of my shirt, I contemplated whether I should go with him or not. If I did, I'd have to see where we was going, what was taking him away, and if I stayed we might not ever have this chance to talk again.

"Fine I'll go," I finally replied, "when are you getting me?"

"Fifteen minutes?"

"Okay, I'll change. See you soon."

"See ya," John replied before he hung up the phone.

I placed the phone back on my night stand and kicked off my Nikes. Pulling my shirt off over my head I started towards my closet and through the door open. John's shirt I'd worn on the last day of school hung before me and I grabbed it. Throwing it on, I searched my closet floor for a pair of jean shorts and pulled down my running shorts and spandex.

Fully dressed, I entered the bathroom and began to wet my tooth brush. I squirted on some toothpaste and turned the electric bristles on. As I brushed, I opened the cabinet and pulled out some cover up. After spitting in the sink and rinsing out my mouth, I squeezed some makeup into my hand and began applying it to my tanned face. Random threads of dark cherry hair fell into my face and I tussled them away from the bridge of my nose. Finally, I brushed out my main and did a double check in the mirror. Not bad for a ten minute clean up job.

Grabbing my phone, I padded down the stairs of my room and slipped on my vans waiting at the bottom. The front door was unlocked, (thanks for caring about my safety mom), and I pulled it open and took a seat on the front steps. John would be arriving in a short time and I didn't feel like waiting inside.

The shadow of the house shaded me from the Saturday sun, and I clenched my eyes nearly closed as I checked down the road to see if John was almost here. Feeling a vibrating in my pocket, I reached for my phone read the screen. John Gomez.

"Hello," I answered.

"Hey Lacey," he soothed, "how ya feeling?"

"Fine," I replied, "so I take it you don't hate me either."

"Hate you? Why would I hate you? Everyone thinks it's awesome that we had sex. You have no idea how many "atta boys" I've gotten…"

"John we didn't have sex!" I exclaimed, "and don't tell people we did!"

"I didn't tell anyone," he replied, "you told John we did, he must have told people."

"Great, just fucking great!"

"It kinda worked out though, if you think about it. I mean, you're still going to be with John and people actually now my name now. I'm not just Stephen's little brother or Kennedy's friend. I'm the guy who had sex with Lacey Monroe."

"Congratu-fucking-lations," I mumbled, "but you have to tell the truth John, we both know damn well that we did not sleep together."

"And that's everyone who needs to know!" John exclaimed, "who cares what anybody else thinks!"

"I care John, I'm a virgin. Do you think I want people calling me a slut?"

"No ones going to call you a slut," John assured me, "really this whole thing will be old news by next week."

"John, I am not going to pretend to lose my virginity. That's weird and crazy and I'm telling the truth."

"Please Lacey, can we just keep it a secret. Please."

John pulled in the driveway gave my a quick wave. I hopped up off the step and started heading towards the car.

"Look John, I have to go. We'll talk about this later. Bye." I hung up the phone and slid into John's car.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"Gwen," I lied, "just checking up on me."

At the mention of Gwen, John cleared his throat and pulled out of the driveway without a word. We peeled down the street and I plucked John's sunglasses off the top of his head.

"They look better on you anyway," he joked as I slid them on my face.

"So…" I leaned over, "what would you like to talk about first."

"The Melissa thing," John answered, "that needs to be cleared up now."

"Okay then, clear it up."

John rolled up the window and blasted the AC as we merged onto the freeway. He turned to me and cleared his throat; "first of all, I've never slept with Melissa, not once."

"Good to know," I replied shaking my head.

"And second of all, she is definitely 100% not pregnant. She only thought she was; she came to me two months and she was really worried. I told her to take a test but she was too scared her mom would find it. So every Tuesday we'd drive to Planned Parenthood and every Tuesday she'd chicken out and make me drive home."

"Why was she so worried?" I asked, "okay, she's pregnant but she's almost 18, and the father…wait. Who would have been the father?"

"I can't tell you," John replied, "I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Come on John, it's me Lacey. The girl you tell everything too!"

"Lace, I can't."

"Tell me or I tell everyone your secret," I daringly replied.

"Which secret?"

"You know which secret John," I growled, "you know very well which secret."

"You wouldn't!" he exclaimed.

"Oh, I would…"

"Fine!" John laughed, "I'll tell you, but you can't tell anyone."

"Scouts honor," I replied, holding up the Girl Scouts promise hand.

"It's Kennedy."

I fell backwards in shock and soon as he said the name. "KENNEDY?"

"Yes, but do not and I mean do not tell anyone!"

"He's cheating on Gabi?" I whispered as if there was someone listening in to our private conversations.

"When is he not?" John rolled his eyes, "but him and Melissa are done and you promised you wouldn't tell anyone."

"Okay, and I promise I won't tell you're secret."

"Oh my god, I'd kill you."

John changed lanes and I turned the song up on the radio. I pulled out my phone and began flipping through old texts saved from John. One read; "I miss you more than anything. Can't wait to see you. Stay beautiful, John."

But not one text said I love you. Then I remembered the tiny blue envelope. I reached over and turned down the song.

"Hey John," I began, "I read the card."

"Oh you did, did you?" he replied, not taking his eyes off the road.

I nodded and placed a hand on his right leg, "do you still mean it?"

"What do you mean do I still mean it, of course I do. I always have, it was just hard to say it."

"But why?" I exclaimed, "John I've loved you for as long as I can remember. Love just comes easy for us, what would make you so afraid to tell me you loved me."

"Because I…"

Before he could finish my phone rang and I pulled it out of my pocket. Gwen was calling and I hit talk, knowing it was probably important.

"Hey Gwen," I answered.

"It's Gwen?" John whisper-yelled, "don't tell her you're with me!"

"Why?" I mouthed.

"Because she hates me!" he whispered, "she doesn't want us to be together!"

"Whatever," I mumbled and rolled my eyes, "what's up Gwen?"

"Well nothing now," Gwen replied, "I got stood up again, so I'm just going home. I was calling to see if you were home, maybe if you wanted to go out to lunch or something."

"Oh I'm sorry about the stood up part, but I'm not home. I'm with…Jess. We're going shopping in Phoenix."

"Oh fun," Gwen replied, "well I guess I'll see you later then."

"Wait Gwen," I exclaimed, "I have to tell you something!"

"What's up?"

"So John told me who Melissa's baby daddy would have been!"

John gasped and smacked my arm, "NO!"

I nodded and clutched the phone closer to my ear.

"John?" Gwen replied, "I thought you were with Jess…"

"I am," I lied, "John called me last night."

"Oh, right." Gwen coughed away from the phone and I could hear Madison whining in the background. "So who is it?"

"Kennedy!" I exclaimed.

John smacked his forehead with his palm and let out a deep sigh. I chuckled under my breath and listen to Gwen's hilarious reaction.

"Holy shit!" she gushed, "that has to be a hug secret! How did you get John to tell you?"

"I threatened I'd tell everyone a huge secret about him," I replied, giggling in John's direction.

"What? That he cries after he…"

"That's enough!" I exclaimed. But then it hit me; I never told Gwen that secret. I never told anyone that secret. What the hell!

"Gwen..how did you know…"

"Well I'll talk to you later, Lace. Bye!" and she hung up.

I let my phone drop into my lap and tried to wrap my mind around the situation. I turned to John and shot him and unsatisfied look.

"John, you know what's weird? Gwen knew your secret. You know the secret I threatened to tell…I didn't tell anyone, especially not her. How would she…"

"She would know because we've slept together," John replied.

"WHAT?" I exclaimed nearly jumping out of my seat.

"You had sex with John I might as well tell you the truth now," John began, " Gwen and I have been secretly together for a while now. Actually a long while. And Gwen isn't who you think she is. She's not Gwen…she's Carolyn."

"Are you insane?" I screamed, "what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Carolyn, Lacey! She's fucking Carolyn. She found out she was pregnant before the modeling thing and Gwen went for her. Gwen was murdered, not Carolyn!"

"What are you saying?" I exclaimed.

"I'm saying that Gwen is not Gwen! She's Carolyn! And Madison isn't Gwen's daughter, she's Carolyn's. Carolyn isn't dead. Gwen is."

"I don't believe you!" I cried, "this has to be a joke."

"It's not a joke, Lacey it's the truth. And there's something else you should know too."

The taste of vomit curled up my throat and I tried to swallow it back down, "don't fucking say it John. Don't say it."

"Madison is my mine. She's mine and Carolyn's daughter…"

In the moment John confessed his deepest darkest secret to me. Three cars a head of us, a black Mazda blew a tire and began swerving out of control. The white Toyota behind it didn't have time to stop, but instead peeled over into the other lane. And the blue Jeep Cherokee in front of us slammed on their brakes nearly seconds before slamming into the back of the black Mazda. And at that second John O'Callaghan had his eyes off the wheel and looking into mine.

I heard the brakes squeak and smelt the burning rubber but it was too late by the time I yelled "John look out." John's black BMW smashed dead center into the back of the blue Jeep Cherokee, which hit even harder into the black Mazda. And at the same time the driver of the blue Cherokee could realize he had been hit, I did have time to realize my head had slammed into the windshield before me and the world went red, then grey, then nothing but the smell of blood and cold, bone shattering darkness.


	8. Welcome Home John!

**Hope you enjoy! It's almost over guysss!**

**One Year Later…**

I woke up at John's house and rolled over to face the sun. Goosebumps lay in random paths down John's tanned armed and I gently ran my fingers over them. He slept soundly, and was probably going to for most of the day, due to the fact that he had been partying all night at the numerous graduation parties. Junior year was finally over and the feeling of actually being a senior hadn't set in yet.

After a few moments of lying in peace I finally dragged myself out of John's bed and plucked my clothes off the ground. Quickly dressing myself, I jogged down stairs and grabbed my keys.

"Where you going?" a voice asked behind me and I jumped. I turned around and faced a hung-over Stephen, clutching a mug full of coffee.

"I was going to go get some coffee or something," I replied, "John's still sleeping."

"There's coffee here," Stephen informed me, motioning the mug towards me.

"I was thinking more of the iced variety," I replied.

"What ever floats your boat." Stephen shrugged and pulled the mug up to his face. I slipped on my shoes and began heading towards the door.

"John comes home today," Stephen called after me.

"What?" I wiped around and barreled into the kitchen.

"From tour, John comes home today."

I sat down at the table and grabbed an apple off the bowl in the center. I took a big bite and decided staying there was the best idea.

"You're serious?" I gushed, "oh my god."

"What he knows you're dating John? What's the big deal?"

"It's not a big deal," I replied, shaking it off. "It's fine. Whatever."

"Well if it's fine why are you shaking right now?" Stephen asked as I looked down at my vibrating hands.

"Why does he half to come home today?" I whined, "everyone knows what today's the anniversary of."

"The accident," Stephen whispered.

I couldn't do anything but shake my head. The accident had happened a year ago, but it had changed so much. I had changed so much. I almost died. John never forgave himself. But I didn't blame him. It wasn't his fault that stupid car blew a tire. And it defiantly wasn't his fault that I lost most of my short term memory from the brain damage. I still knew who I was, who he was, and everyone who was important to me. I didn't forget how to breathe. I was fine. But John and I weren't.

"He's going to kill John," Stephen casually announced.

"Yeah you think," I rolled my eyes.

"Well at least now it doesn't matter that John thinks you slept with John last year, cause you lost it to him anyway."

"Oh that's great thanks Stephen. My ex-boyfriend of 80 bazillion years is coming home from tour today and I'm dating someone else…but the reputation of my sex life is safe."

"Hey, just making a point," Stephen replied as he got up from the table, "I'll see ya later."

"Where are you going?" I asked as he left the kitchen.

"Jess's," he replied, "we're working on stuff to get together before we go to LA. Have you decided whether you're coming with us or not yet?"

"Not yet," I replied, "I still have to talk to John."

"Which one?" Stephen asked with a laugh.

"Oh haha, so fucking funny!"

Stephen winked and slipped out of the door way. Soon I heard footsteps and sat back in my chair. John bounded in the kitchen and pushed his hair out of his face. Wearing nothing but some flannel pajama pants and a confused grin, he joined me at the table and grabbed an apple out of the bowl.

"When'd you wake up?"

"A few minutes ago," I replied, "you were passed out."

"Yeah," John laughed, "last night was rough."

"You said you liked it rough," I cooed.

"Oh you're bad," John growled as he pulled me into a kiss.

We pulled apart and I rested my forehead on his, "we have to talk about something."

"What's up?" John asked as he leaned back in her chair.

"John comes home today."

John nearly choked on his apple as he tried to respond, "John O'Callaghan?"

"Yupp," I replied.

"Have you talked to him?"

"No," I replied, "and I don't want to."

"Why not?" John asked, "I won't care, I mean…"

"I just don't want to," I cut him off, "you're my boyfriend, not him."

"Good to know," John smirked, "so what are we doing today?"

"I have no idea," I replied, "it's fucking summer!"

"Hell yeah!" John exclaimed as we slapped hands.

John got up from the table and started opening the cabinets searching for something to eat. I pulled out my phone and started flipping through the texts I had missed last night while at the parties. Three from Jess, two from Stephen, and 1 from John O'Callaghan. I click open and read it silently.

"Hey Lace. I don't know if you know, but we're coming home from tour tomorrow and I didn't know if maybe we could get together and talk. I miss the heck out of ya. Talk to you soon, John."

"Whatcha reading?" John asked pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

"Texts from last night," I replied, quickly changing screens to Stephen's missed messages consisting of "whetre ayre yuou" and "werey leahring soion." His drunk texts were just lovely.

I closed out of the screen and began to place my phone in my pocket when it started ringing. I check the screen and read four words I wished I hadn't. "Incoming call; John Ohh."

"I'll take this in the living room," I announced as I peeled away from the table.

Plopping down on the couch I hit talk and placed the phone up to my ear. With a sigh I answered, "hello."

"Hey Lace," John chirped as if nothing had happened between us.

"Hi," I coldly responded.

"Are you doing anything right now?"

"I'm at John's," I replied, "why what do you need?"

"I just thought we should talk," he explained, "it's been a while since we've had a real conversation."

"Talk about what John?"

"I don't know, us?"

"There is no us John. We are not us."

"Lacey come on, you can't take 30 minutes out of your day to talk to me, John! Please."

"John, you just got home from tour. You're tired, most likely need to shower and unpack. We'll talk some other time."

"No, we don't have some other time, we're leaving again for LA in about a week."

I could hear John eating in the kitchen and I didn't want to keep him waiting any longer. But I knew this John wasn't going to give up either. Eventually I gave him the answer he wanted.

"When do you want to talk?"

"Now's fine," he replied, "I could get you at Johns."

"No, there's no way you're picking me up at John's. I have my car. Meet me at my house."

"That's fine with me!"

I hung up the phone and sadly marched back to the kitchen. John looked up at me with a milk and cheerios filled mouth.

"I have to go home," I explained, "It's a long story but I'll call you later."

"Okay," John shook his head and got up from the table. He pulled me into a hug and I kissed his bare shoulder.

"See you later," he whispered over my shoulder, "love you."

"I love you too," I replied.

Finally backing apart, I left the house and hopped in my car. I couldn't believe I was leaving John's house to meet up with John Ohh. I felt like I was almost cheating. I hated it. But I missed John too.

"Lacey Loo!" John exclaimed as he pulled in the driveway.

"John!" I fake enthused.

"Get in let's go. I promise no accidents." He winked and I slipped in the passenger seat.

"That's really appropriate to joke about on the one year anniversary isn't it John?" I snarled.

"Sorry," he weakly replied, "why are you mad?"

"I'm not mad," I mumbled staring out the window.

"You sound mad. You look mad. You smell mad."

"Oh so funny." I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously Lacey, you're going to act like this?"

"Like what John?" I barked, "like I don't want to be here, cause yeah I don't."

"If you didn't want to be here, you wouldn't have left John's to come see me."

"Whatever," I huffed, "let's just get this over with."

"I can't believe this," John shook his head, "YOU'RE mad. You!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I exclaimed.

"Because you have no excuse to be!" John yelled, "I should be the one that's pissed. You're the one who's dating someone else. You're the one who obviously doesn't give a shit about me."

"You left me!" I screamed, "what was I supposed to do, sit around and wait for you?"

"Uhm yeah!" John exclaimed, "you weren't supposed to run to John Gomez the second I was gone."

"I didn't run to him," I replied, "you just weren't there."

"I went to college Lacey," John urged, "I graduated. What was I supposed to do?"

"Stay with me," I cried, "be with me. But you never could huh John? You could never fully dedicate yourself to me could you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Us John!"

"Oh so there _is_ an us!"

"Just shut up," I exclaimed, "back when we together, if we even were together, we were never truly "a couple." I was just Lacey. You never even told me you loved me! Not once."

"Lacey I did tell you I loved you, you don't reme…oh god the accident. You don't remember anything do you?"

"No John I don't" I mumbled, "I don't remember shit from the day of the accident and I definitely don't remember you telling me you loved me."

"Well I did," John replied, "just because you don't remember doesn't mean it didn't happen."

"That doesn't matter John! What matters is that I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't go another day wondering if you were going to find someone else, or if you had someone else the whole time. It was just over."

"No Lacey, you know when it was over_? _It was over the day you decided to sleep with John Gomez!"

"What are you talking about? Six months ago? Because that's when I lost my virginity!"

"Six months ago? Lacey you told me you and John slept together a year ago."

"We never…" I tried to remember whether John and I had actually slept together or not. What had Stephen said? Did we or did we not? Why was this so hard to remember.

"Did you guys sleep together or not?" John inquired.

"I don't…I don't remember," I replied, "but what does it matter now?"

"You're right Lacey, it doesn't matter. It never mattered. We never mattered right? That's what you said."

"That's not what I said!"

"Yes it is! You we were never an us, and that's why you're with John. You wanted a real boyfriend, right? I didn't mean shit to you."

"You meant everything to me!" I screamed, "you were all I had!"

"I obviously didn't mean enough Lacey…"

"I loved you John! I still do!"


	9. Will you go to LA with me?

**Are you pumped? You're pumped. Enjoy :)**

John dropped me off back at my house without saying a single a word. After I had blurted I still loved him he got a weird look on his face and then just drove for a little while. Once I thought he was going to reach for my hand, but instead he just turned up the radio. I wanted to say something, but I was afraid anything I said would just sound stupid compared to what I had just admitted.

Slowly, I got out of the car and held onto the edge of the door. John kept his eyes straight in front of him with one hand held tightly on the wheel and the other on the shifter that was holding the car in park.

"I meant what I said," I finally admitted, breaking the silence.

"I know you did," John replied.

"I'll talk to you later?"

"I'll be seeing ya," John replied as I closed the door. And with that, he drove away and left me standing in the middle of the driveway nearly in tears. I heard the front door pop open and Gwen came bounding out.

"Hey did you just get home?" she asked, "your car was here but you weren't."

"Yeah, I uh..I got pretty drunk last night and someone took my car home. John dropped me off a few minutes ago."

"John Gomez?" she asked, meeting me in the center of the driveway.

"No," I shook my head, "the other one."

"O'Callaghan? Lacey don't do this to yourself!"

"Don't do what?" I whined, "I didn't do anything."

"You know for a fact you're still in love with John and hanging around him isn't going to get you any closer to getting over him. You need to separate yourself from him."

"What if I can't?" I whispered.

"You have to!" Gwen exclaimed, "Lacey, you're dating John. John Gomez. You love him. Remember? John Ohh left you, he didn't want you."

"Shut up!' I screamed, "shut your fucking mouth."

"Why because I'm telling the truth? He left you Lacey, he left you here alone."

"He didn't leave me!" I cried, "I left him. I was in love with John Gomez long before John left for ASU I just couldn't admit it to myself."

"That's good!" Gwen chuckled, "you love John Gomez. So you can get over John and be happy."

"Why the fuck do you want me to get over John so badly? Do you want him for yourself?"

"No!" Gwen exclaimed, "why-why would you say that?"

"Why? Because ever since John and I got serious all you ever wanted for us to not be together. You never supported our relationship, you never wanted me to spend time with him. Were you jealous? Is that what it was? Were you jealous that someone loved me…"

"He never told you he loved you," Gwen lilted.

"That's fucking low, Gwen."

I stomped back in the house and was met by a smiling Madison. I looked in her eyes and saw John for a second. Slapping my hand to my forehead I shook away the dizzy feeling and made my way towards the stairs. I had a lot of thinking to do, and Gwen wasn't going to help.

**Three days later…**

Peeling my eyes open, I rolled over and looked at the clock. Sleeping until noon sure felt good the first few days of summer, but soon I'd feel as if I was wasting my day. Hopping out of bed, I stuffed my cherry red main out of my face and stumbled towards the stairs. Before I took a step I heard a familiar voice.

"John?" I whispered raspily to myself.

"She needs to know the truth!" he boomed.

"She doesn't need to know anything," Gwen replied, "we agreed not to tell her and I'm not going to. And neither are you."

"But Carolyn, I have to. She's…"

Racing down the stairs I nearly tripped over myself and spilled into the kitchen.

"What did you just call her?" I barked at John.

"Lacey what are you talking about?" John exclaimed, his body language screaming fright.

"You called her Carolyn. Carolyn's dead John."

I shot a glance at Gwen and felt a churn in my stomach. "Why did he call you Carolyn?"

"Lacey I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Don't fuck with me! You called her Carolyn, I heard you. What the fuck is going on?"

"You're hearing things Lacey," Gwen laughed, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"What were you going to tell me John? What do I need to know? And why are you here?"

John swallowed hard and slightly began to tap his foot. Him and Carolyn stared up at me glassy eyed, neither of them talking. I stood there in the center of the kitchen, shaking with confusion and fury.

"Just tell me what's going on!"

"Nothing's going on Lacey," Gwen soothed, "you just woke up and maybe you were still dreaming. John and I were just talking about how the tour went. He came to see you this morning and you were still sleeping."

"Fuck that Gwen, I don't believe shit you say anymore! You hate John, why would you be shooting the shit in the kitchen?"

"Well after what you said the other day I figured I should give him a chance. You're my sister and you obviously love him, I might as well get to know him."

"You never took the time to get to know John Gomez. You know, my boyfriend! What's so special about John?"

"I bet you ask yourself that everyday, huh Lace?" Gwen smirked and fought the urge to grab the closet thing to me and chuck it at her head.

"If you're telling the truth, which you're not, why are you here John?" I turned to him and his face turned red again.

"Well, uh. We're going to LA in a few days to work on the album and I didn't know if you wanted to come with us?"

"What?" The idea floated around my head for a second and I took a seat at the table. "You want me to come with you?"

"Yeah well, it's summer, you've never been to Los Angeles and I figured it'd be fun."

I looked up at Gwen and then back at John. "You're serious?"

"Completely," John replied firmly.

"Alright, I'll go with you." John smiled and I smiled back. For a second I got that feeling again, the feeling I had when John held my hand. The feeling I had when John was mine. But soon it slowly faded as I remembered my John.

"Shit, scratch that. I don't think I can go."

"Oh well that's too bad," Gwen sighed.

"Wait, why not?" John sat up in his chair and dared me with his concerned eyes.

"The Summer Set is going to LA next week to work on there album, I was going to go with them," I explained, "I still hadn't given John an answer yet."

"Well that's simple, so no!" John replied, crossing his arms as if the problem was solved.

"Oh yeah great idea. 'Sorry John I can't go with you guys because I'm going with John Ohh to LA. See ya when we get back'"

"Sounds perfect!" John exclaimed, "go start packing, we leave tomorrow."

"No John, you don't understand I can't go with you. I can't do that to John."

"Why not? It's not like anything's going to happen, I just figured you'd want to see the guys again, and you know, see what we do in the studio."

"John, that sounds amazing trust me, and of course I miss the guys. But I can't just go to LA with you when I'm dating John. I'd be a terrible girlfriend, and honestly I don't trust myself around you. It's not fair to John."

John looked up to me with his beautiful eyes and I watched as his lips twitched with words he wished he could say. After a few seconds all that came out was "Do you love him?"

And I replied, "Yes."

Madison began to cry as she woke up and Gwen motioned towards the door. I stood up and waved her back towards the sink.

"I'll get her."

I bounded the stairs to Madison's room and retrieved her from her crib. Holding her until she stopped crying, I descended the steps and marched back towards the kitchen. And when I finally got there, John was gone.


	10. I Must Be Dreaming

**Hope you love it :) Reviews would be lovely!**

The next few days went by like a blur. John Ohh never stopped by once and before I knew it, him and the guys were on a plane to LA. Leaving me back here in Arizona with nothing to do but think.

I sat on the back deck staring at the pool water flop in and out of the filter when I heard the screen door creak open. Breaking me from my trance, I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up into John's eyes. I flew out of the chair and wrapped my arms around him.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too Lace," a voice replied. I opened my eyes and back away as my fingers slipped out of John Gomez's black hair. Had my mind played a trick on me? Had I really seen John Ohh standing there?

"You feeling alright?" John asked.

"Yeah, sorry. I think I've just been sitting in the sun for too long," I replied.

"Alright," John chuckled and took a seat next to me. "So I have to talk to you about something."

"What's up?" I asked, already knowing my answer.

"We're leaving for LA in a few hours to work on the album and I you still haven't said anything about if you wanted to come with us or not yet…"

"I know," I replied, "I'm sorry it's taken me so long to give you an answer, I just had a lot to think about."

"I understand," John shook his head, "if you don't want to come it's okay. You can stay here, I just thought it could be fun if we went on like a little mini vacation together."

"That's sounds great John," I darted my eyes to the pool and tried to hide my nerves, "I just…I don't think…"

"You don't want to come," John sighed.

"It's not that I don't want to be with you, it's just, I don't want to leave here right now. Me and Gwen have a lot to talk about, and I'm probably going to have to start babysitting Madison soon. I just don't think leaving right now would be a good idea."

"I understand," John replied standing up. He leaned over me and lightly kissed my lips, "I'll call you later alright? I have to go home and pack."

"Okay," I faintly replied.

"Bye Lace," John called behind him as he slipped inside the house.

"John!" I yelled into the doorway. Soon he reappeared in the door frame and shaded his eyes from the sun. "Yeah Lace."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Lacey." And with that he reentered the house and left me outside with nothing to do but think.

It was around 11 when I finally dragged myself to bed. Gwen was in the living room watching some late night TV show and my parents were no where to be found. My dad was most likely on a business trip, and my mom, well I could have cared less where she was.

The kitchen lights fluttered on as I flipped the switch and dragged my feet over to the fridge. I grabbed an apple and a freezing water bottle. I hadn't eaten all day and their was no way I could fall asleep on an empty stomach.

"Lace!" Gwen called into the kitchen.

"Yeah," I replied, shuffling into the creamy carpeted living room.

"Uh, John called for you a few hours ago. I told him you were sleeping. What the hell were you doing out there? I checked like ten times to make sure you weren't floating upside down in the pool or something."

"I just had a lot to think about," I replied, "and alright I'll cal John back when I get upstairs. Did he say if they left for LA yet?"

"Lace, they left for LA like last week…" Gwen began, "oh you think I'm talking about John Gomez!"

"Yeah, isn't that who called?"

"No," Gwen chuckled, "John Ohh."

"Oh he called?" I exclaimed, "why didn't you say which John?"

"I don't know," Gwen shrugged, "I figured you'd know who I was talking about."

"How could I?" I replied, "no one seems to be who they say they are around her anymore."

Gwen swallowed hard and returned her gaze to the TV. She stuffed some pretzels in her mouth and seemed to ignore my presence. Rolling my eyes, I shuffled out of the living room and charged up the stairs to my room. I finally reached the "attic" and slumped down on my bed. I cracked open the bottle of water and took a cold glug. The chilly water felt good on my dry throat and I could feel my cheeks cooling down. I was going to have some lovely freckles tomorrow after a day like this. Oh the perks of being a red head.

Taking a ferocious bite of my apple I grabbed my phone off the night stand and sure enough I had a missed call from John. I clicked his name and placed the phone up to my ear. Through a blast of music in the background I heard John answer "hello."

"Hey John, it's Lacey. Gwen told me you called."

"Yeah I did," John chuckled, "I wanted you to hear something we working on in the studio. But you were MIA."

"I'm sorry," I replied, "I was kinda dead from the world today."

"I see this now," John laughed, "why what happened?"

"Nothing happened, I just had a lot to think about."

"Like what?" John asked. I heard a can crack open in the background and Garrett say something inaudible. A loud hacking filled my ear but it didn't sound like John's tone.

"Who's dying?" I joked.

"That's Kenny," John answered, "he's getting really sick. He hasn't even gone to the studio yet. He's just been chilling in the hotel room. Pucking and shit."

"Oh poor Kenny!" I exclaimed, "why didn't he just stay home?"

"He figured he'd feel better soon, but he hasn't gotten any better."

"Aww, well tell him if he wants to come home I'll be here if he needs someone."

"Wait," John paused, "you're home? You're not going to LA with The Summer Set?"

"No," I replied, "I told John I couldn't go with him."

"Why?" John asked, almost sounding angry, "did you and John get into a fight?"

"No, I just didn't want to go. I told him I wanted to stay home. Going to LA wasn't the best idea for me right now."

"Why not?" John asked.

"Because it's just not," I blurted, "you're there…I'm here. It's what's best."

"What are you saying?" John demanded.

"I'm saying it's best I stayed home because I'm no where near you."

"Thanks!" John boomed.

"No, it's not like that John. It's just, you're back and I'm with John Gomez. And I need some time to stop thinking about you. Stop remembering who we used to be."

"I don't want to forget us," John weakly replied, "and I don't want you to pass up going to LA just because I'm here."

"It's for the best John…"

"What if it doesn't work!" John exclaimed, "you trying to forget about me, what if you can't? What if this is all time wasted. What if we never stop loving each other?"

"It's not impossible to fall out of love with someone John," I scoffed, "and stop loving each other? You never told me you loved me."

"I did Lacey, you just can't remember!"

"I can't remember a lot from that day John, and if you did tell me you love me, that's great. But it came far too late."

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to say it Lacey," John replied, "but I mean it, and you know I still do."

"I know John," I sniffled and took another sip of water.

"Can I just show you one thing?" John asked.

"Show me?"

"Okay…sing you?"

"Sure, why not?"

John cleared his throat and introduced the song, "we just wrote this a few months ago and are still putting the finishing touches on. Let me know what you think….

_She thinks I'm crazy._  
_Judging by the faces that she's making._  
_And I think she's pretty._  
_But pretty's just part of the things she does that amaze me._  
_She calls me sweetheart._  
_I love it when she wakes me when it's still dark._  
_And she watches the sun,_  
_But she's the only one I have my eyes on._

_Tell me that you love me. _  
_And it'll be alright. _  
_Are you thinking of me? _  
_Just come with me tonight. _  
_You know I need you. _  
_Just like you need me. _  
_Can't stop, Won't stop. _  
_I must be dreaming. _  
_Can't stop, Won't stop. _  
_I must be dreaming. _

John stopped singing and I heard everyone in the background cheer. Kennedy coughed as he spilled out a "sound awesome bro."

"So what do you think?" John asked me.

"It's amazing John. I love it."

"Thank you," John replied, "I love you Lacey."

"I love you too John," I whispered through my freshly falling tears. "I have to go."

"Goodnight," John soothed before I hung up the phone.

Tucking my knees into my chest, I rocked back and forth and let the tears fall down my now ice cold cheeks. I thought about John and how we used to be. And the fact that that song was about me. I thought about John Gomez and how I loved him, but what I was doing was wrong. I felt guilty and sick. I felt like a tramp. But at the same time, I felt alone. Alone and scared. All I wanted was to be wrapped up in John's arms. And at that moment in time I knew exactly which John's arms I wanted to be in.

Picking my phone back up I dialed in my boyfriends' number and waited for him to pick up. His groggy, middle of the night voice, answered me and I could hear the hush of the van moving along in the background.

"Lacey?" he answered, "is everything alright?'

"Everything's fine John," I answered, trying to hide my tearful tone. "I just need to talk to you about something."

"What's that?"

"I haven't been the best girlfriend to you John. I haven't been very much of a girlfriend at all. What I'm doing, it's not fair to you. Or us. And I just, I don't think we should be together."

"Wait, you're breaking up with me?" John exclaimed, "I don't understand, what's going on?"

"I'm sorry," I cried, "but I can't do this anymore. I can't keep loving you with half of my heart. I just can't do this anymore. And it's not you. No, it's not you. You're amazing John. You don't deserve me. You deserve someone who can love you with all of who they are, and never once doubt their feelings."

"Lacey, don't do this!" John pleaded, "I love you."

"I love you too John," I sniffled, "but last year I made a promise to you, and I'm sorry but I have to keep it."

"Promise?"

"I promised you that no matter what happened between us, I'd always love John Ohh. And I never stopped John. And I don't think I ever will. It's not fair to you. So for now, we can't be together. And I'm so sorry. I love you, but I can't do this."

"Lacey, please don't do this."

"I'm sorry John." And with that, I hung up the phone and threw it across the room. The tears pounded down my face and I hung my head down to my knees. I was fully aware of what I had just done, but I never anticipated it to hurt that much.


	11. I'm coming home to you

**Switching POV's OHH SNAPP. Get pumped :)**

* * *

**John's POV-**

"Kennedy wake the fuck up!" I shook his pillow but he didn't budge. Instead he groaned and I watched as his eyes fluttered open and closed.

"Dude we have to get something done today!" Garrett exclaimed towards Kennedy's bed. "Like seriously, take some Tylenol and let's go."

"Go without me!" Kennedy blurted into his pillow.

"Let's just go," Jared advised us, "we might not need him today anyway."

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes and stomped away from Kennedy's bed. I got the point that he was sick, but we were wasting precious studio time.

He all hurdled out of the hotel room and down to the van. I hopped in the drivers seat and cranked up the AC. I loved coming to LA but it was hott as tits in the summertime. Even worse than Arizona. At least there were beaches here. We'd most likely be hitting them later after the studio, but who knew if we'd even need to go today, without Kennedy we couldn't finalize anything.

"What's up with him?" Pat asked referring to Kennedy.

"Seriously, he's having like a week long fucking hangover or something," Garrett replied, "it's ridiculous."

"He kept me up all night last night throwing up," Jared explained, "I don't think I've slept since we got here."

"Maybe he should just go home," Pat suggested, "I mean, he might as well suffer at home where someone can take care of him."

"And waste all this studio time!" I exclaimed, "no way. He'll be better tomorrow, even if we have to drug him up."

"Agreed," Garret nodded in the passenger seat and turned up the radio. "So, how was talking to Lacey last night."

'It was alright," I replied, a smile creeping on my face, "she sounded pretty out of it. She loved the song though."

"You told her it was about her?" Jared asked.

"I'm sure she figured it out," I replied, "once I sang her the chorus. I mean, those were her words."

"Tell me that you love me and it'll be alright. Are you thinking of me, just come with me tonight." Pat recited the lyrics that I had written the night Lacey and I had our falling out. She was still a little shaky after the accident and didn't remember anything from the day it happened. Which worked out and sucked majorly at the same time. She forgot everything about Gwen being Carolyn and Madison being mine, but she also didn't remember me telling her I loved her.

"What ever happened to you guys anyway?" Garrett asked, "you were together for so long and then it was just over."

"After the accident nothing was the same," I began to explain, "she was a different girl and I was a different guy. We still loved each other but everyday we fell further and further apart. The day before I left for ASU she made me promise I'd come back for her, and I made the promise to her, but for some reason I couldn't make it to myself. When I came home, she was with John and we were done."

"I'm sorry man," Jared empathized, "that sucks, but maybe it was for the best. You'll find someone else."

"Yeah," I replied, but I didn't believe it for a second. Lacey was the only girl for me, I knew that. But if she ever found out what happened with me and Carolyn…again, she'd never speak to me ever again. I knew that now, and I had to keep the secret of having a daughter for the rest of my life. Madison had to grow up not knowing who her father was and it was no one else's fault but mine. I thought about telling Lacey plenty of times, but I never wanted to hurt her. I figured the day of the accident was the best day to tell her because if she had broken up with me I was leaving anyway. But that plan backfired.

We pulled into the studio parking lot and I slipped on my sunglasses. Jared and Pat hopped out of the back seat and I reached for the door handle.

"It'll get better with time," I heard Garrett advise to the dead silent van.

"I can only hope," I replied.

"It will," he assured me, "Lacey isn't the only Lacey isn't the world. I know that sounds weird, but there are other girls out there. Some may be just like Lacey. I mean, come on, you can find hott red heads with a cute little gap between her two front teeth anywhere right?"

"Right," I shook my head and slid out of the van. I knew Garrett was just trying to help and what he said made sense but it meant nothing to me. I didn't want to find the other Lacey's of the world. I just wanted my Lacey. Lacey Elizabeth Catherine Monroe. The girl I'd loved since I was 10 years old.

By the time Garrett and I reached the door Pat and Jared were already inside. Garrett pulled the glass door open and I stepped into the heavily air conditioned building. A Foo Fighters song played over head as Garrett read a sign out loud directing us to take the stairs to get up to the studio. We hauled up them and took a sharp right, a receptionist sat before us with a headset over her ears and a steaming cup of Starbucks coffee on her desk.

"Welcome to Fearless records how can I help you?" She asked with a smile.

"John!" our producer came bounding in the door holding an identical Starbucks cup and waved me in, "they're the band," he informed the secretary.

We walked past her desk and into the brightly lit studio where Pat and Jared were waiting for us in the lounge chairs, munching on some muffins and pouring themselves coffee in small paper cups.

"We're missing one?" The producer, James, announced after a quick recount.

"Kennedy's sick," I explained, "hopefully he'll be here tomorrow."

"Ahhh," he shook his head and took a glug of whatever was in his cup, "I see. So looks like we're talking business today then."

"I guess so if we can't record," Garret agreed.

"Actually we could record the drum tracks," Pat suggested, "we don't need Kennedy for that."

"Kids got a point," James pointed out, "so drums day."

"Sounds good to me," I shrugged and took a set next to Jared.

"John!" I heard a voice call behind me. I wiped around and met eyes with Marge; my favorite producer at the company. Her Dolce and Gabanna glasses hung on a string around her neck and her red lip stick painted lips were curled into a tight smile.

"Marge!" I exclaimed, flying out if the chair and pulling her into a hug, "I haven't seen you since we put out The Way We Talk!"

"I know!" She gushed, "how has your cute little butt been?"

"I've been alright," I shrugged.

"Alright is not okay for my John," Marge replied, sounding concerned, "step into my office."

Marge was in her mid 40's and was like my second mom. She helped us through producing the first record and also helped us get on the road with hooking us up with an awesome tour manager. I confided in her with almost everything and she knew when I wasn't telling the truth about how I've been. I was looking forward to one of her pep talks, and now I guess I was going to get one.

I sat down on the red couch in her office and she plopped down in her computer chair. She smoothed out her skirt and took her phone off the hook.

"Okay Johnny, you have my full attention. What the hells been bothering you?"

"Well you remember that Lacey girl I was telling you about a long time ago?" I asked her. She raised her eyes to the ceiling in thought and bit her bottom lip.

"I think I do," she replied, "you were very smitten with her, I swear you were going to propose."

"Yeah, I thought so too."

"Well what happened? Did she break up with you?" Marge asked, crossing her left leg over her right.

"She didn't break up with me per say, but she kinda decided for the both of us that it was okay to date other people…"

Marge gasped, "She's with someone else?"

"They've been dating for about a year now, I came home from ASU and they had been together for almost six months."

"Oh John, I'm so sorry."

"It's alright, I'm alright. It's just…it's hard because…"

"You're still in love with her," Marge nodded, "I understand."

"And she still loves me too, she told me. But she's still with John."

"Hold up, the guy she's dating is named John?"

"Yeah, John Gomez."

"Well looks like our Lacey has a thing for John's" Marge laughed, and I tried to crack a smile.

"Well you know what John?" Marge began, "any girl who could break my Johnny's heart like that isn't worth it. And as a matter of fact I have a whole handful of girls you can chose from."

"Thanks Marge, I mean it, but I'm not really looking to date anyone right now."

Marge cackled and spun her chair towards her Mac PC, "Oh Johnny, I was kidding. But I do need your help. We're hiring some interns to start this summer and I have to chose who gets the job. I'd love your help."

"Sounds like a tough job," I winked and hopped off the couch, "alright let's see what we've got."

**Lacey's POV-**

I woke up the next morning feeling like I had been hit over the head repeatedly until I blacked out. As a matter of fact I didn't know if I actually did since I didn't remember falling asleep. My memory was slipping again, great! I couldn't tell Gwen because she'd just ship me off the hospital and they'd probably try and probe my brain or whatever they would do that could possibly kill me.

I couldn't believe I had broken up with John last night. It just happened. The words spilled out like word vomit. My brain turned off and my heart turned on. And at the moment my heart was stuck on John Ohh.

I slipped out of bed and grabbed my phone off the floor from where I had thrown it last night. I checked the screen to read that I had no missed anything. No texts, calls, voicemail. Nothing.

Tossing my phone on my bed, I shuffled over to my closet and began shifting through my clothes. A red shirt was folded up on the shelf and I figured it was clean so I reached up and grabbed it. Pulling it down I watched a tiny blue envelope floated down and landed on the ground next to my left foot. Tucking the shirt under my arm, I bent down and grabbed the peculiar envelope. It was already opened so I pulled up the flap and pried inside. My fingers grazed a stiff piece of paper and I pulled it out. The side facing me was blank so I turned it over and read the words. In John's blocky handwriting read "I love you."

All the air drained out of my body as I read the words over and over again. "I love you." John really had said it, but why could I not remember it? I was sure I'd remember him telling he loved me, because that was one of the reasons we broke up; he never did. Then I thought back to the accident. The accident that had wiped my short term memory clean. My knees buckled and I fell to the ground, still clutching the tiny envelope and loving note. I read it a few more times before I finally crawled to my bed. Carefully placing the note on my night stand, I threw off my tank top and slipped on the red The Maine shirt. Irony much? Pushing off of my bed, I paced towards the stairs and descended all the way down to the living room where Gwen sat feeding Madison a banana.

"Gwen, can I borrow some money?"

"What for?" she asked, looking up at me with a confused expression.

"I need to but a plane ticket," I replied.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"Los Angeles; I have to tell someone something very important."

**John's POV-**

"Okay last girl," I said to the computer screen as Marge clicked on the last application.

"Let's see," she said slipping on her glasses. "We'll start with the bio."

"Her names Britta," I read, "she's from Connecticut and is turning 18 July 3rd."

"Look here John," Marge pointed towards the screen, "My favorite bands are The Maine, The Summer Set, and Paramore."

"She's a fan!" I exclaimed, "I like her already."

"Me too," Marge chuckled and kept scrolling, "she's a singer and attends Seton Hall studying Music Industry."

"She's very qualified," I concluded.

"And pretty cute," Marge joked.

"She's not that bad on the eyes," I agreed.

"Well I think she's perfect, what do you think?"

"I like her," I replied, "she should definitely get the job."

"We've got our girl," Marge threw up her hand for a highfive, "I'll call her tomorrow and she'll start next month."

"Why next month?" I asked, smacking her hand.

"She's not 18 until July, you gotta be 18 to work here," Marge explained, "but that's fine we'll wait for her."

"She's going to be so pumped," I replied, "I'd love to work here."

"How about this," Marge began, "how about you call her tomorrow and give her the good news?"

"That'd be awesome!" I exclaimed.

"Actually wait," Marge returned her gaze to the screen, "it says here that her heroes are JFK, Hayley Williams, and Kennedy Brock. Sorry John, looks like Kennedy's giving her the good news."

"If he's even alive tomorrow," I joked, "he's sick as a dog."

"Poor baby," Marge stuck out her bottom lip, "tell him I said feel better soon."

"I'll pass the word along," I replied, getting up from the chair, "I'll see ya soon Marge."

"You better!"

I stepped out of her office and met up with the guys in the sitting room. Pat was missing, obviously recording his drum tracks and Garrett was on the phone while Jared flipped through People magazine.

"How's Marge?" Jared asked as I sat down.

"She's still just Marge," I replied with a smile, "I missed her."

Jared nodded and returned to his magazine. His foot shook as he read and I shifted my attention to Garrett.

"Who are you talking to?" I mouthed.

"Brian," he mouthed back pointing at the phone.

"Dales?"

Garrett shook his head and finally said his goodbyes. He stuck the phone in his pocket and let out a deep sigh.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Not good," Garrett shook his head.

"What's not good?" Jared asked, slapping the magazine back on the table.

"They're not going to be able to record today and probably not for a few days," Garrett explained.

"Why not?" I asked, "problem with the studio?"

Garrett shook his head, "problem with John. Lacey broke up with him last night and he's been a wreak. He won't eat, sleep, talk. Brian says there's no way they're getting him into the studio."

"Poor guy," Jared sighed.

"Lacey broke up with him?" I questioned, "did she say why?"

"Did she have to?" Garrett shot me a look and I swallowed hard. Of course it was because of me. A part of my sympathized for John but another part of me wanted to do back flips until I threw up. There was still hope. Lacey still loved me and I was going to get her back.

Excusing myself, I hopped out of the chair and took off out of the studio. I ran to the van and took off back towards the hotel. Parking in the loading zone I threw open the back door and ran inside. Passing the elevator I slammed the door open to the stairs and marched up to the third floor. I punched the key in the slot and barged in the door. Kennedy lay on his back on the bed next to the window and didn't move when I entered the room. I grabbed my suitcase and began stuffing my clothes and lyric book inside.

"What are you doing?" Kennedy moaned.

"I'm going home," I replied, "I'm going home to the girl I love."


	12. Did you miss me?

**Sorry it took so long guys. We're just getting to teh good part ;)**

**John's POV-**

I landed in Arizona three hours later and called Max to pick me up. He thought I was crazy for flying all the way home but I promised him I'd be back in LA soon to work on the album, there was just something important I had to do at home.

He dropped me off at Lacey's and thankfully her car was in the driveway. I hoped out of Max's car and took off towards the door. I barged in without knocking and screamed Lacey's name. Sadly, there was no response.

"Lace," I called again. I heard footsteps up stairs and I felt my heart begin to flutter. Booking it up stairs I slammed down the hallway and peeked in the only door that was open. The stairs up to Lacey's attic bedroom were to my right and an empty room was too my left.

"Lacey!" A door opened down the hall and I skidded towards it, "Lacey!" But it wasn't Lacey, it was Gwen, or Carolyn rather. The girl I knew was Carolyn, though to the world she was Gwen.

"John?" she shook her head in shock, "you're here? In Arizona? In my house?"

"Where's Lacey?" I exclaimed, "I have to talk to her."

"She's gone John," she replied clutching the door frame, "she left about an hour ago."

"What? Where did she go?"

"Los Angeles John," Gwen replied.

"What!" I yelled, "wh-why?"

"She-she said she was uh going to fix things with John, she said breaking up with him was a mistake and she wanted to make up in person."

"What?" I whispered, the back of my throat beginning to burn. I flew all the way home for her to not be there. For her to have gone to LA to tell John Gomez she made a mistakes breaking up with him.

"Are you sure she didn't go to see me?" I asked in my last attempt at any hope.

"She didn't mention you," Gwen replied sticking out her lower lip, "you didn't come up in conversation."

**Lacey's POV-**

I hadn't been to LA since they discovered Carolyn's body. That's all I could remember as I stepped out of the airport and into the hot sun. Every thing was death. It smelt like death, it felt like death, it even tasted like death. I didn't think I'd remember everything since I was so young when Carolyn died, but I remembered exactly how it felt. The cold and gloom surrounding me even when it was 90 degrees out. The sympathetic faces and the tears, oh the tears. Los Angeles was a haven to some people, but for me it was hell. It was dark and twisted. It was death.

I hailed a cab and pulled the mapquest directions out of my bah that had the address for the studio The Maine was recording at. I told the cab driver where we were headed and soon we pulled away from the airport. I was nearly broke, alone, and shivering as the feeling of death returned to every inch of my body.

We pulled up in front of the studio and I paid the driver. He peeled away from the curb and I clutched my bag close to my side. A burst of chilly air greeted me as I pulled open the glass door of the recording studio and marched up the stairs. A small hallways sat before me and I turned the corner into an extremely modernized lobby.

A petite blonde secretary smiled up at me and tapped her pen against her desk. "Good afternoon, welcome to Fearless records. May I ask who you're here to see?"

"John," I blurted, "I'm sorry, I'm here visiting The Maine it's kind of a surprise."

"Alright," she looked back down at her desk and seemed to be double checking a list. "I'm sorry," she began, "I didn't catch your name."

"It's Lacey," I replied, "Lacey Monroe. I'm uh, John's girlfriend."

A twang of jealousy entered her tone as she replied, "of course, one second."

She picked up her phone and dialed a single number. After the mysterious voice picked up on the other line, she explained who I was. I heard the phone bark "let her in!" And the secretary waved me towards the door. "Go right in."

I stepped inside and met eyes with Garrett who was reclined in a blue chair in yet another lobby. Jared sat across from his playing on his phone and John, Pat, nor Kennedy were anywhere to be found.

"Lacey!" Garrett exclaimed as I entered the room, "you're here!"

"Where's John?" I asked, gently rubbing the tiny blue envelope in my right palm.

"He's gone," Jared replied, "he left a few hours ago. He took the van, we've been stranded here all day."

"Wait? What do you mean he's gone. Like gone from the studio gone?"

"No," Garrett shook his head, "Kennedy says he went back to the hotel room, packed his bag, and took off. Lacey I think he went back to Arizona."

"Probably to see you," Jared added.

"Oh my god," I gasped, "we missed each other."

"What?" Garret asked.

"Us. John and I. We missed each other. He went home. I came here."

"Wow," Jared rolled his eyes, "that's misfortunate."

"Lacey?" Garret lightly began, "I have to ask you something."

"What?"

"Did you break up with John Gomez?"

"Yes," I replied confused, "why?"

"You broke him!" Garrett exclaimed, "The Summer Set's here in LA and John's too fucked up to do anything. He's so depressed over you."

"What?" I replied, my head spinning, "they're not recording?"

"They can't!" he yelled, "he won't talk, he won't eat, he won't sleep. Lacey you have to do something. John's a wreak."

"What do you want me to do?" I begged, nearly in tears, "I can't fix him! I broke up with him because I couldn't be with him anymore. I came here to talk to John and he's gone. What do you want me to do?"

"Fix things with John," Garrett replied, "at least until the records finished."

"Garrett that's not fair!"

"No Lacey, what's not fair is that The Summer Set is going to have to post pone their album because you broke up with John and he gave up on everything. Go talk to him. Fix him. The album will get done and then you can do whatever you want with whoever you want."

"Garrett I'm not doing that, I'm not selling myself for this record."

"Well if you can't do it for the record," Garrett began, "do it for yourself."

**John's POV-**

I plopped down on the couch and let out a deep sigh. "She really left?"

Gwen sat down next to me and handed me a glass of ginger ale. She shook her head and stuck a chip in her mouth. "It's kinda like a sign you know," she began, "like maybe you were meant to miss each other."

"I don't believe in signs," I replied, "this was a freak accident."

"I'm sorry you missed her John but I'm not sorry you guys aren't together, it's for the best."

I looked at her in shock and set my glass down on the table, "what are you talking about?"

"You and Lacey, you _were_ something but both of you have to realize it's over between you guys. I mean she's with John and me and you…"

"Gwen no!" I sternly replied, "we aren't anything."

"Oh really? So Madison isn't anything?"

"Gwen-Carolyn who ever the hell you are, don't bring Madison into this. She was-she was…"

"A mistake?"

"No!" I exclaimed, "she was not a mistake…she's just a reminder of how much I fucked up. I cheated on Lacey with you for years and I knew I shouldn't have and then you got pregnant! It made me realize that I had to stop Carolyn. I had to stop lying to Lacey, and you, and to myself."

"Lying to yourself about what?" Carolyn inferred, "lying to yourself that you loved me? Because you sure told me you did plenty of times."

"I did love you Carolyn, believe me I did. But I shouldn't have loved you and Lacey at the same time. I did something wrong and I know I did."

"Loved Lacey? Please John, you never loved her! If you loved her you wouldn't have been sleeping with me, and going on dates with me…"

"Half way across the state so we wouldn't get caught!" I exclaimed nearly jumping off the couch.

"You said you liked the thrill," Carolyn cooed, "you said you loved being with me and you loved the rush of almost getting busted."

"I _loved_ being with you. Past tense, we're over Carolyn. We were never meant to be anything."

"No. You and Lacey are over, you and Lacey were never meant to me anything! We can be together whenever we want! We could tell Lacey about Madison and us. And you know what John, she'd be with John and I'd be with you and things would be fine."

"You're insane," I replied, "if you really think that would happen."

"It would John you're just too stupid to see it!"

"See what _Gwen?_ See that Lacey would never speak to either of us again if she found out what happened? If she found out _I _was Madison's father! Lacey loves me and there's no way she'd ever be okay with that!"

"If she loves you John, then why'd she fly all the way out to Los Angeles to make up with John Gomez?"

**Lacey's POV-**

I didn't know then but I know now I took it as a sign. I took it as a warning that John and I were never supposed to "find" each other. There was some underlying force that was separating us and it would never stop. No matter how much I loved John, and I did, we could never be. I knew that now.

I left the studio and called Brian; he told me which hotel they were at and asked me why I came to LA. I told him I had come to see John and to try and work things out. That was the first lie I told.

He gave me the address and I caught a taxi to hotel. With the little cash I had left I paid the driver and made my way into the hotel. I wasn't proud of myself for what I was doing, what I had done, and what I was about to do, but I told myself it was for the best. That was the second lie I told.

Brian had told me they were in room 219 so I climbed in the elevator and pushed the two button. A younger woman, maybe a couple years older than me, wearing a charcoal skirt suit stepped in next to me and gave me a small smile. She had striking blue eyes and a gorgeous complexion. I was almost jealous. After a few seconds she said hi.

"Hi," I replied, not knowing what else to say; I didn't usually have conversations with random strangers in elevators.

"You're staying here?" she asked.

"No, just visiting someone who is. Are you?"

"Yeah," she shrugged, "I'm on one of my first jobs. I'm a model."

"I can tell," I replied, "you're really pretty!"

"Aww thank you!" she gushed, "I'm Jess by the way."

"Hi Jess, I'm Lacey."

"Lacey, I like that name." The elevator door opened and she motioned for me to go before her, "bye!"

"Bye Jess," I said before heading down the hallway towards 200-220.

I found room 219 and rang the tiny door bell to the side of the knob. Jess pulled the door open and waved me into the poorly lit room. John sat on the bed farthest from the window and was staring blankly at the TV screen. The TV was off. As soon as he saw me he hopped off the bed and stood sturdy on his feet.

"Lacey?"

"Hi John," I weakly replied.

"You're here, you're in LA?"

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you and I couldn't do it over the phone."

"I can't believe you came all the way here!" Finally he stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. It felt amazing in his arms and I started to forget why I was actually here and put my thoughts in the mindset of actually fixing things with John.

"I love you," I whispered over his shoulder.

"I love you too," he replied.

Stephen came bounding out of the bathroom and stopped short when he noticed I had arrived.

"Lacey! You're…here?"

"Yeah," I laughed as John and I pulled apart, "I'm here."

"That's great!" Stephen exclaimed, "maybe we'll actually get some shit done."

Jess smacked his arm and at first he winced but then gave her a flirty smile. Knowing Jess I expected her to roll her eyes but instead she returned the smile. A little alarm went off in my head but it soon faded as John gently grabbed my hand.

"Thank you," he whispered, "thank you for coming all the way out here."

"I missed you," I replied. And it didn't feel like a lie. I did miss him. I did love him. Was I fooling myself chasing John Ohh? John Gomez was always there for me, even before we were together, and when we were together he made me feel like the most amazing and important woman alive.

"I made a mistake John," I blurted, "I shouldn't have broken up with you. I didn't know what I was thinking."

"You guys have a lot to talk about," Stephen interrupted me, "Josh and Brian are waiting for us in the lobby I think we're going to go fuck around the city and maybe get some food. You guys should stay here and work things out."

"It'll only be a couple hours," Jess added, "you'll be alright?"

"We'll be fine," I replied.

"Perfectly fine," John sighed and wrapped his arm around my waist. He leaned his head on my shoulder and I waved Jess and Stephen goodbye.

As soon as the door closed I took John's hand in mine and began rubbing his wrist with my thumb, "I love you John."

"I love you too Lacey, and I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you or make you question me…"

"You didn't do anything," I assured him, "I was wrong to just end things like that. It's not your fault I just wasn't thinking right."

"What were you thinking about?" John asked.

"The fact that I was still in love with John Ohh," I replied, finally telling the whole truth.

John got really quiet and pulled his hand back into his lap. "What made you change your mind?"

"You," I replied, "I remembered how much I loved you and I realized that you were who I was supposed to be with. I realized I loved you more than anyone and breaking up with you was one of the biggest mistakes of my life."

And that was the third lie I told.

**John's POV-**

What Carolyn said stuck with me for the rest of the night. If Lacey did tell me then why had she gone to LA to make up with John? Had she really gone to see me? Then why hadn't she called? Why hadn't she told me she was coming to LA to see me? Because she wasn't. And that was my answer.

It was nearly 10 o'clock and I had no where to go. I couldn't go home because my brother's friend was staying in my room while his house was under construction. I couldn't got to Pat, Garret, Jared's because they were in LA. And I couldn't go to Max's because I didn't want anyone to know I had come all the way home to nothing. So I was stuck at Lacey's house, without Lacey.

Gwen sat on the couch watching some dumb TV show and I paced around the hallway.

"You can come sit down," she suggested, "you're gonna tire yourself out running that marathon over there."

I sighed and sat down on the couch, "what am I going to do?"

"Well first," Carolyn began, "you're going to calm down. And second you're going to sleep here and then go back to LA tomorrow if you want to. Or you could stay here with Madison and I and we could be like a little family."

"No!" I exclaimed, "we can't play with Madison's head like that. Soon she's going to be able to remember all this and I don't want her remembering you calling me her father or something."

"Well what am I going to do when she starts asking where her dad is?"

"I don't know," I replied, "tell her he passed away or something."

"I'm not telling her her father died John," Carolyn argued, "that's terrible."

"So what are you going to tell her?" I asked, "the truth? Are you going to tell her that the man her aunt used to love is her father?"

"No," Carolyn shook her head, "I'm going to tell her that the man _I _used to love is her father."

I rolled my eyes and began picking at a stray piece of string on the edge of the couch, "do you even care about Lacey?"

"Oh you mean the Lacey that's in Los Angeles right now with her BOYFRIEND?"

"No I mean the Lacey that thinks you're dead! The Lacey that I loved long before I loved you. The Lacey that has no idea that her ex-boyfriend is her niece's father."

"That Lacey is my sister and of course I care about her, but I care about you too John. Did you expect me to be able to just get over you after everything we went through?"

"Carolyn I know what we had was…"

"Amazing," Carolyn interrupted me.

"It was fun, but we were young. We made a mistake, I never should have cheated on Lacey and you never should have let me."

"Let you? I never should have let you tell me you loved me? And sleep with me? Maybe you shouldn't have LET ME have your child John."

"Carolyn!"

"WHAT!" she exclaimed, "what could you possibly have to say?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I'm sorry for everything that happened."

"Don't apologize," she mumbled as she got up off the couch, "I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity!" I called after her as she entered the kitchen, "I can't lie about what happened or feel bad for myself. I loved you. I slept with you and you had my child. There's no going back, but we can tell the truth."

"There's no telling the truth," Carolyn snapped as she returned to the couch with an apple. Lacey always ate an apple before bed too.

"Carolyn…"

"Save it John, I don't want to hear it anymore. Go do what ever you want. Go tell Lacey you love her. Go get shut down and go watch John Gomez walk away laughing at you with Lacey under his arm."

With that, we stopped speaking. We sat there on the couch staring at the TV for a good twenty minutes. The only sound, our breathing and Carolyn periodic bite of her apple.

Finally I broke the silence, "Look, I'm sorry okay. If we're going to be spending the night together we might as well not fight."

"Whatever you say John," she replied.

"Come here," I waved her over and stretched out on the couch. She lay before me and let out a sigh.

"We haven't done this in a while," she reminded me.

"What we said today, can we just forget it?"

"Sure John." Carolyn turned over and her side and faced me. She gripped my shirt and pulled herself in closer and I let her. She felt my chest and her breathing fell silent.

"John, what are these bumps?" she asked.

"That's where I broke my ribs," I replied, "you know, in the accident. I slammed into the steering wheel and they shattered. When your ribs grow back the bon that replaces them is twice as strong. The heeled areas left these bumps under my skin."

"At least you don't have a whole in your chest," Carolyn replied. But she was wrong.


	13. In my life I had fallen in love

**IT'S ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL OVAAA. I LOVE YOU GUYS. hope you love it! :)**

**3 months later…**

**Lacey's POV-**

"Are you ready to fucking party?" John laughed as we pulled into John Ohh's driveway. It was late August and The Maine was finally coming home from Los Angeles…well after they had gone back…after not being able to finish the record because two of their band members were MIA.

I was nervous as hell; the last place I wanted to be was John Ohh's house. We hadn't talked in a long time, especially after missing each other back in June. I was back with John Gomez and actually really happy about it. We were starting to finally click and I loved it. It took me far to long to do so, but I realize that I had something good with John and I wanted to stay with it. He might not have been my first love, but he had stolen my heart and that was good enough for me.

We stepped in the door and "Kelsey" by Metro Station was blasting out of the speakers in John's surround system. Kelsey Adams, the girl that was pretty much IN LOVE with Brian was in the center of the living room belting every word of the song. You would have thought it was about her or something…

"Lacey Loo!" I heard Stephen exclaimed over the music as he approached John and I. "I didn't think you'd show up."

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked, already feeling uncomfortable.

"No reason," Stephen replied shrugging, "John's not here by the way."

"What why? It's his party…"

"He took Lucy for a walk, said he needed to clear his head before…" John cleared his throat and I clenched his hand a litter tighter. "Until Kennedy and his girlfriend got here."

"Right," I replied, "we finally get to meet this mystery girl. What's her name again?"

"Britta," Stephen reminded me, "she seems cool, I talked to her on the phone once. Kennedy really into here so she's got to be cool."

I scanned my eyes over the party and picked out the people I knew, and the handful I didn't. Everyone was drinking and laughing. Tim and Garrett slapped hands, most likely after telling the punch line of a cheesy joke. John gripped my hand as we made our way into the party and started towards the kitchen.

John's house was small but he was so damn proud of it. He chose it himself and him and Halvo were going half and half on the rent. As a matter of fact, I hadn't seen Eric yet. That was weird; he was a party animal. Maybe he didn't feel good. Or Maybe he was out walking Lucy with John. John. There he was again, smashing into my head like a migraine. I had to stop thinking about him, but that was a little hard since I was at his fricken house.

"What do you want to drink?" John asked me as we approached the counter.

"Ooooh you have to try this," I heard a voice suggest behind me and turned around. Gabi stood before me holding out a red solo cup half filled. The contents were a light green and reeked of vodka.

"What's in it?" I asked.

"Try it and I'll tell you," she giggled and I grabbed the cup. I took a swig and swallowed the stinging liquid. It tasted like artificial apple and pineapple vodka.

"You like?" she asked.

"It's good," I replied, "who made you it?"

"I made it myself." She walked behind the counter and grabbed the bottle of pineapple Skyy vodka. Reaching across the bar, she grabbed a bottle of some green apple mix and poured them both in a cup. Next she added some Sprite and handed it to me.

"Here you go, one Hawkins special." She smiled and I took a quick sip. I had to hand it to her, it was good.

"So looks like I'm not going to be the only awkward one at the party," I said to Gabi as we emerged into the crowd. John had run off to talk to some friends and I was fine with Gabi. John hadn't shown up yet.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You know, me and John…and you and Kennedy."

"Kennedy's not coming," Gabi snorted.

"Yeah he is," I replied, "he's coming with his new girlfriend Britta. They met in LA."

"He has a new girlfriend?" Gabi gasped, "no one told me."

"Gabs, they've been "together" since like the beginning of August…"

"What?" she exclaimed nearly spilling her drink, "Kennedy broke up with me August 7th"

"I'm sorry…" I began.

"She better not show up here," Gabi lashed out, "I'll kill her."

"Gabs, you have to give her a chance. She might be a nice girl You don't even know her."

"Give her a chance? She stole my fucking boyfriend!"

"He broke up with you," I reminded her, "he didn't cheat on you and she didn't steal him. She probably didn't even know he had a girlfriend."

"Why are you defending her?" Gabi replied coldly.

"Because I don't know her, I'm not going to hate her when I haven't even met her."

"Whatever Lace, you do what ever you want. You know what, why don't you just make her your new best friend? That's sounds nice right? And guess what, soon enough she'll be fucking John."

"Oh good one Gabi, but that'd be hard…"

"And why's that?" Gabi asked in a fake soothing tone.

"Because it'd be pretty hard for her to fuck John while she's already on top of Kennedy."

Gabi rolled her eyes and stomped away. She joined her little posse and began whispering. The girls looked back and me and snickered. One of them was Melissa Olsen, the twin. She glared at me and I shot her a look. As I turned I yelled into the open air, "That shit all you want girls, but I least I didn't fuck my best friends boyfriend and then think I was pregnant."

Melissa gasped and Gabi scoffed. She was so clueless. So very clueless. And now this poor girl Kennedy was bringing home was clueless as well. She had no idea how much of a dog he could really be. I would know, I used to have the biggest crush on him. Until one day I found him in the mall making out with some girl while he was still dating Gabi. I never told her, but at that moment I kinda wish I had.

I spotted John on the couch and sauntered over. He looked up at me with his puppy dog eyes and I leaned down to peck his lips. Pivoting my heels, I turned around and took a seat on his lap. There was a seat open on the couch next to me but I ignored it. John wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my shoulder blade.

Soon I felt my phone vibrate and I pulled it out of my pocket. It was John. Just lovely. I clicked open and read the text to myself. I honestly didn't care if John could see it over my shoulder, I had nothing to hide.

"Just got in the car with Kenny and his new gf. She's really nice, you'll like her. See you soon."

I replied with an "cool! Can't wait to meet her. See you soon." And shoved my phone back in my pocket.

"Kennedy and Britta should be here any minute," I informed John over my shoulder.

"This is so weird," John laughed.

"What's weird?"

"Kennedy bringing a girlfriend home, I feel like he got a new puppy or something."

I chuckled and took a sip of my drink. I searched the crowd once more for Eric but he was still no where to be found.

"I'll be right back," I said to John as I stood up. Taking a right down the hallway I located his room and knocked on the door.

"It's open!" he called to me and I pushed the door open.

"Lacey?" he said once I entered, "didn't expect to see you here."

"Trust me, me neither." I sat down on his computer chair and noticed the crumpled up pieces of paper blanketing the floor. "Why aren't you parting?"

"I'm not really in the partying mood," he replied.

"What's wrong bud?" I asked.

"Liz broke up with me," he explained, his voice tearful and drained. He looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep in days. I felt bad.

"I'm sorry Halvo, but maybe you guy's weren't meant to be. I mean neither of you were happy with where the relationship was going. You were fighting all the time."

"But I loved her," Eric replied.

"I know you did, but you'll find someone else to love. There's billions of other people in this world, you just got to find them."

"It's not that easy Lace." Eric shook his head, "this fucking sucks."

"Come on man," I attempted to cheer him up, "you're at a party! There's tons of girls out there getting drunk as hell ready to hook up!"

"I don't want to 'hook up'" Eric replied, "I want to be in love, I _was _in love."

"Love's overrated," I shrugged, "you don't need it."

"Aren't you in love?" Eric asked.

"I am Eric, and whether it's with the right person or not is still a mystery I'm trying to figure out."

"I'll never find the right person," Eric sighed, "I'll just be cooked up in this fucking room, writing pathetic songs and drinking Green Machine until I die."

"That's not going to happen," I assured him.

"And how are you so sure?" Eric asked.

"Because…" I paused, "I'm making you a promise Mr. Halvorsen, I'm promising you right now that the next girl that walks through that door right there, is the right person for you."

**Eric's POV-**

Fifteen minutes later Britta walked through that door.

**Lacey's POV-**

I liked her. I knew I was going to. She was a sweet girl who was completely lost. And I had never seen Kennedy so taken. He walked her around and showed her off like a gold medal at the Olympic games.

She was maybe about 5'9" with long muscular legs. She had a caramel complexion that was not just from the California sun. At first I guessed she was a mix of Black and White but later I learned her father was black and her mom was Taiwanese. She was the first "blasian" I had ever met. Her teeth were perfectly aligned and her eyes were a deep brown. I learned she was from Connecticut and had gone to Seton Hall in New Jersey for a year before her internship. She was a pretty interesting person and I was looking forward to getting to know her. I didn't know then how much she'd change my life.

Her, John, Kennedy, and I sat on the couch at the party we chatted a little before she excused herself to got to the bathroom. That was the first time she had left Kennedy's side since they'd arrived at the party.

My phone vibrated again and I huffed as I pulled it out. Of course it was John and of course I didn't want to talk to him.

"Can you come to my room so we can talk?" it read. I rolled my eyes and texted back, "yeah, be there in a sec."

I told John I had to go talk to someone and ascended from his lap. Marching down the hallway I approached John's room and attempted to turn the knob. The door was locked. I knocked three times and waited for a response. John pulled the door open and I peered into his sharp green eyes. Both of us went to speak but stopped instantly. Soon a beautiful singing voice coiled into the background and we simultaneously began looking for the source of the music.

Our ears led us to Eric's door and I listed as a female vocalist sang lyrics I had never heard before. I didn't know who it was or why they were in Halvo's room. Taking a few steps down the hallway I lightly knocked on the bathroom door and it slowly pushed open. Vacant. Britta hadn't returned to the party since I left the couch. Was she the one singing? How had she ended up in Halvo's room?

"We have to talk," John repeated, motioning for me to go into his room. I stepped in and shut the door.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked.

"Us," he replied, "what the hell happened?"

"Nothing happened John," I shrugged, "we're old news."

"Really Lacey? You're over it just like that?"

"Of course I'm not over it John but we have to move on sometime. I can't just keep chasing you for the rest of my life. We tried. We tried to make it work and it failed miserably. We completely missed each other."

"That doesn't mean anything!" John exclaimed, "missing each other was an accident. But the fact that we were both going to see each other wasn't."

"John, really it's been three months. I'm with John, I'm happy. Don't do this please."

I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. I was actually saying "no" to John Ohh. He wasn't sweeping me off my feet, I wasn't nervous or anxious. I just wanted to escape from his room and return to John on the couch. Wow, I really had fallen in love with John Gomez. I liked this.

"What make's him so special? Huh?" John demanded, "what happened you being in love with me?"

"I stopped," I replied, "it's just…it's over John. I love John Gomez. I said it and I mean it. I love John Gomez."

"It won't last," John shook his head, "you'll realize you still love me soon. You'll come back to me, just watch Lacey."

"I really don't think that will be happening any time soon…" I began.

"And why's that?" John asked.

"Because I'm pregnant John."

**Lacey; **And now six years later, I sat on the porch of Me and John's house telling him the very same thing I had lied about back then. Except this time I was telling the whole truth. What I said to John Ohh was nothing but a lie to make him get over me. But now, at the age of 23 I was pregnant with my first child.

In my life I had fallen in love. Gotten into a car accident that severely damaged my brain. Lost one sister and then found out it was actually really the other sister the whole time. Discovered my ex-boyfriend was the father of my niece. Moved to New York. Married an Italian immigrant. Moved to Los Angeles. Became a model. Started doing drugs. Lost my job. Moved back to Arizona. Got engaged. Traveled to Italy and ended up falling in love. And now I was facing motherhood and mending broken hearts. **Don't tell me I can't handle it, because I'll prove to you I can.**

**John Gomez; **Lacey was pregnant. That was it. My life was changed forever. She was the first girl I ever loved and the first girl to have ever broken my heart. Now she would be the first and only girl to have my child. Six years ago I never saw anything of this happening.

In my life I had fallen in love. Rescued a beautiful girl from a mall. Drove around on a scooter all day with someone else's girl friend. Went to prom with the same girl, who was now my girlfriend. I played in over 4 bands, but fell in love with The Summer Set. Toured the world. Put out three hit records. Made a sex tape. Gotten someone else's wife pregnant. Partied in every state. Fought for the girl I loved. Watched my brother get married. Got engaged. Got left for an Italian immigrant. And now I was facing fatherhood and mending a relationship that had gone through more hardships than I could have ever imagined. **Don't tell me I can't handle it, because I'll prove to you I can.**

**Eric; **They were moving. She was leaving. Hawke was leaving. Britta was leaving. My life was leaving for Los Angeles. I was buying the house. It was a quick and drastic decision but I knew it was the right one. The house held far too many memories to just let go. But what was even harder to let go, was moving all the way to Los Angeles. After six years, she still found some way to change my life.

In my life I had fallen in love. Went on Warped Tour. Saved a girl on a hot day in July. Moved to New Jersey. Lost my virginity. Moved back to Arizona. Toured the country. Visited my friends in the hospital. Had our first pregnancy scare. Lived in Los Angeles. Got married. Bought my first house. Moved back to New Jersey. Became a father. Moved back to Arizona. Got arrested. Watched my wife slowly slip away. Cheated on my wife. Watched my wife drive away. Got divorced. Lived alone. Became a father for the second time. Moved to Boston. Got engaged. Almost delivered my ex-wife's babies in an elevator. Watched twins being born. Moved back to Arizona. Called off the engagement. Found out about a sex tape. Found out a the baby wouldn't have been mine. Was told my best friend died in a fire. Visited my ex wife in the hospital after an attempted suicide. Reconnected with my son. And now I was facing a life without Britta or my son in an empty house with nothing but memories. **Don't tell me I can't handle it, because I'll prove to you I can.**

**Kennedy; **Moving was my idea. I thought it'd be best for everyone. Britta loved the idea. She missed LA. Of course she was going to miss Arizona but LA had a special place for me and her that would never change. It was where we first met. It was where her life changed. Arizona was my home, but Los Angeles was my escape. Six years ago, I never thought I'd be going back to place were it all started.

In my life I had fallen in love. I recorded two albums. I met a cute intern. I took her home. I said "I love you" and meant it. I went on Warped Tour. I watched my girlfriend fall in love with someone else. I "cheated on my girlfriend." I lost everything. I never actually cheated. I dated her best friend. I fixed things with my first ex. I never stopped loving her. I got into a car accident. I quit the band. I saved her. I moved in with her. I got married. I became a father of twins. I was locked in a storage room for 2 weeks. I found out she tried to kill herself. And now I faced moving to Los Angeles and leaving friends and family behind, all while being a good husband and father. **Don't tell me I can't handle it, because I'll prove to you I can.**

**Britta; **This was the end. The story ends here. Bet you never thought it end like this huh? I got you there with all that Halvo stuff. Did you really think I'd end up with him after everything Kennedy and I went through? Well if you did, you just don't know true love then. Or maybe I don't…either way, I'm happy. So you should be too. I know you're sad the stories over but come on, it had to end sometime. My life's not nearly interesting enough for you to want more. I mean come on…in my life I've only…well…

In my life I had fallen in love. Got cheated on. Went to college. Moved to Los Angeles. Met the love of my life. Moved to Arizona. Met one of the most important men in my life. Went on Warped Tour. Went to Wal-Mart in another man's clothes. Kissed him in a hotel room. Got cheated on. Broke up with him. Moved back to New Jersey. Got sung to at my doorstep. Fell in love again. Moved to Arizona. Bought a house. Had my first pregnancy scare. Got signed a record deal. Lived in Los Angeles. Recorded a song with Taylor Swift. Got drunk with The Summer Set. Kissed Brian Dales. Recorded an album. Got married. Recorded my first music video. Got arrested. Passed out on stage. Moved to New Jersey. Had my first child. Made a sex tape. Started having night terrors. Started seeing a psychologist. Recorded in Los Angeles with All Time Low. Went to a club. Get drugged. Found out I was pregnant. Lost the baby. Got cheated on. Was rescued by my first love. Returned to Arizona. Fell back in love. Got divorced. Moved to New Jersey. Got married. Moved to Boston. Got pregnant with twins. Found out about ex-husbands daughter. Almost delivered in an elevator. Had my second and third children. Moved back to Arizona. Began recording another album. Took time off to be a mom. Watched my husband leave on tour. Reconnected with my ex. Was told my husband was dead. Found a letter explaining how he never cheated. Tried to kill myself. Hallucinated falling in love with someone else. Woke up in a hospital for attempted suicide victims in Los Angeles. Returned to Arizona. Celebrated my twins first birthday. Moved to Los Angeles.

And now I faced a whole new life in a whole new place, I had three children to take care of, a sky rocketing career to keep on track. **Don't tell me I can't handle it, because I'll prove to you I can.**

Thank you for everything you've brought to my life. See all that stuff up there, it never would have happened without you. Though were at the end of the story, it doesn't mean we're saying goodbye forever. I'll always be here when you're down. I'm only a few clicks away. You can curl up with a steaming cup of tea and a warm blanket and read the series from beginning to end. It may not change every time, but every time you'll find something you never saw before. Or maybe you forgot how or why something happened. The moral of the story is, is every one has dreams and sometimes all you need a little push for them to come true. Stay beautiful

Much love,

Britta Brock-Halversen-Gladden


End file.
